barely a teenager at 19, i have done everything - i guess those who read my posts will know very well i can be quite harsh. But i am also very supportive - ultra supportive
it ranges from - me coming in from work - doing a job search for him, pasting it into a word document titled Jan13 leaving on desktop - for him to contact - OR not the next day
to me saying - right you lazy git - out the house when i am and not back until i get home - you're not staying here all day...and locking him out.
he promptly goes to a freinds - or his older brothers house to get stoned.
The thing is i chucked my oldest son out at 18 as a jobless, lazy weedhead, i didn't want him a bad example - and although he got somewhere to live - he is on his arse financially, and is only just really seeing the light of day. He lives 5 mins away and i don't see him a lot - but we get on when we do. him getting a flat - was a total fluke of circumstance.
my dd (also 19) has never claimed JSA and spent 3 weeks out of work before getting another job. DS hasn't held anything down much since he was 16.
at 16 - i used family connections to get him a mechanics apprenticeship - he was on 16k a year. 16k - a - year. at 16.
he didn't like it!!!!!
he left, much to embarrassment of family member who vouched for him and got him the job where he worked. this cuased huge family rucks and bad feeling.
he worked cleaning - but got sacked.
He desperatley wants to work as an outdoor activity instructor - and I have gotten hma couple of interviws. I gave him money for a 6 hour journey, i kitted him in new trainers, outdoor gear etc to hep him look the part for the job.
part of the weekend was going to a quiz at a pub. ds said he was tired, roommates all snored and he didn't get a wink.
he didn't understand that this was all part of the interview - even though i told him over and over - the whole weekend is the interview - dont let your guard down once, not once. and he was honestly truly gutted when he didn't get it.
so i have been very ill recenly, suspected whooping cough, then chest infection. DH also has had flu - and he doesn't get ill much - so is on his back. we have been like this for a week.
after days in bed, stomach muscles raw from days and days of constant coughing, i got out of bed, i had a shower. major achievement.
whilst we two parents had been ill, he didn't wash a pot, wipe a spoon or clean a side.
at 3am wed morning, i told him to turn his light off - he is addicted to his computer ( yes i have tried that) and i told him i would need to talk with him the next day.
when i eventually crawled out of bed, he was gone - to a friends.
When he came back last night. I told him he is at a place where he can only ever aspire to be like his big brother, with his own place, his own friends ( ds has 1 or 2 on their terms they dont really like ds only last resort friend as DS doesn't put in the effort) managing his own life.
I have told him that he has until 5pm today, to get a job interview
or
go and get a placement volunteering - not just register - tell them your mother is kicking you - the fuck out - placement.
IF this does not transpire. Tomorrow he will have to go to the housing options and spend the day sorting out his plight.
he will then, have over weekend to hand out CVs (in vain hope) and on Monday before i leave for work. he must leave.
if he re-enters my house without my consent , i will have him arrested.
he is a quiet, unconfident lad, he isn;'t bolshy, he isn't brave.
I have offered him any and all assistance, i will drive him anywhere, i will give him money for printing at the library. i will sit and write out application forms with him.
"anything you need son, anything."
do you think its about time, im just at a loss, he doesn't care about us, himself, his friends, anything.
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Teenagers
Kicking DS out. Really
12 replies
Tortington · 24/01/2013 13:50
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