Hi everyone - hoping for some words of wisdom here ...
I'm not sure if this is the place for this as my DS1 is 20 now, but the issues have been going on for several years and MN has helped me before.
Ex and I split up 5 years ago and of course my 3 DCs have been affected by it to a greater or lesser extent in different ways. DS1 is very similar to his Dad and has always looked up to him. He left me for OW who is 15 years younger than him (I am 5 years older) and my DS has been in and on/off relationship with a girl for all of that time. She is a year older than my DS. The problem is that he seems to think its ok to maintain relationships with other girls while he is seeing her. They split up for a few months and he spends some time without a GF, and then they get back together and I realise that he's seeing someone else too. We are on about the 6th or 7th episode of this happening. Apparently he is now seeing a 16 yr old girl who lives nearby (his GF lives 100 miles away) and is a friend of my DS2s GF. He's met her family already. There have been occasions where he's tried to bring another GF home overnight shortly after the original GF has stayed. Of course as soon as I realised the plan I told him it was never going to happen and explained that this behaviour was unacceptable. So he hasn't had anyone staying now for several months, until last weekend when GF1 stayed. The next morning my DS2 told me about the other girl.
To my mind this reflects his Dad's attitude to women but I'm at a loss to see how to explain how completely unacceptable it is. He seems to have no respect for his GF at all, and was astonished when I said he appeared to be sleeping with 2 or more girls at once and that my DS2 and DD thought he had several GFs on the go. He says they are just friends of course.
The fact that this keeps happening over and over again amazes me - the GF keeps taking him back and wants to settle down with him. She's very wealthy and attractive so keeps him hooked (he's materialistic and narcissistic). How on earth do I get him to a place where he has a normal one on one relationship?
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DS infidelity ... (long post)
9 replies
raskolnikov · 05/12/2012 07:35
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