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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Confidentiality?

7 replies

WorkAndPlay1 · 02/12/2012 17:42

I'm the dd in the situation. Recently I have been having been going through a hard time which resulted in self harm on my legs. Friends have been getting v worried about me and told teacher. Teacher rung dad without talking to me.
Teacher made me believe they were confidential - an utter lie. Feel cheated.
Iyo, were the school in the wrong? Imo, yes.

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ellargh · 02/12/2012 17:47

Confidentiality only extends so far. If you have said you were a danger to yourself or others, even if you we're over 18, they have the right to contact the relevant authorities. Since you're under 18 the relevant authorities are your parents first and foremost.

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ellargh · 02/12/2012 17:48

In a situation like this they should have told you about it first but its at their discretion as you could have run off and done something drastic at the thought of your parents knowing.

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WorkAndPlay1 · 02/12/2012 17:49

I understand but after teacher called d, i confronted her and teacher was v condescending (calling me a child) and told me i could be expelled for talking to them like that..

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WorkAndPlay1 · 02/12/2012 17:51

made me feel less likely to talk to authority about what im feeling, there is no trust

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ellargh · 02/12/2012 17:57

They could have handled the situation better. Condescension doesn't aid trust at all. I'd complain about the way this was handled to the head teacher as issues like this need to be treated professionally, responsibly and with a duty of care.

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brighterfuture · 02/12/2012 17:58

I'm sorry you have been having a bad time and feel cheated by those who are there to care for you

It sounds like your friends had your best interests at heart in telling her. I am sure you teacher told your dad because she was concerned and wanted to make sure you were ok. As a parent i would want the school to inform me if my dc was self harming.

I do however agree with you that she should have talked to you first.

I think you need to talk to your teacher, or maybe write her a letter explaining how you feel she abused your trust.

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WorkAndPlay1 · 02/12/2012 18:23

thank q for the helpful messages, i don't blame my friends at all and have descided to take school up on seeing a counsellor x x x

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