My 17 year old daughter is very vulnerable and has been treated for depression and self harm over the last couple of years. She is talented and musical but hates herself and has always been desperate to 'fit in' with her peers. Lately she has been making great progress at college and seemed to be 'on the mend' however a week ago she went to a party at a semi-squat and lied that she was with a decent male friend (who I knew would have looked after her). She is on anti-depressants yet she drank (not that much as she is not keen on drink) but took cannabis and possibly cocaine. She told me she would stay at the friends house however at some point in the night things got out of hand and my daughter woke naked and knew she had had sex. With absolutely no recollection of events she believed she had been raped and went to a female friend and she phoned me and then began the most traumatic weekend of our lives with examinations and interviews with police etc. They were very supportive and my daughter was extremely brave. However after making an arrest the police have uncovered a phone video which shows my daughter clearly inviting 3 boys to get sexually involved with her and there is a 1 or 2 min video of this that the police have seized on a memory card. The film does not show full sex but is very explicit. My daughter remembers nothing but examinations show that she is extensively bruised etc.
The police says there is no case now and I agree as even if she was subsequently assaulted (and I believe she may have been) I think the film casts lots of doubt on her and I want the whole thing put behind us.
My big horror is the film: the police have said they have threatened the main lad with prosecution if he distributes the film and yet they seem to be dragging their feet at trying to get to the others. My daughter is suicidal and I am so fearful for her mental health; I parent her totally alone and I have devoted my life to her but it has not been enough. I truly believe that she may have been given a drug called GHB which can release sexual inhibitions as though she was not a virgin she herself is appalled by her behaviour and cannot account for it.
I keep thinking her life is ruined - which I know is terrible - and that this awful film will haunt her. She is young for her age and I am ridden with guilt that despite my best efforts I have not protected her from life. I dread going in her room in the morning in case she has done something. How can we get over this? We live in a city but the community is small, how long before what happened that night gets out and should I be pressuring the police more?
Any advice or survival of similar experiences would be gratefully received.
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Daughter has been filmed at a party after possibly having drink spiked
13 replies
jewel1 · 01/12/2012 10:35
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