SOS 17 yr old DS birthday/card

[RoseWei]

DS 17 today - presents ordered but not due to arrive just yet so want to mark the day with a 'token' present that he will, nevertheless, like.

Problem - he is mildly fixated (actually, more than mildly) with the pc/gaming. Long story - may be posting about the effects on his school work for some support/advice from this great community soon. Used to read avidly, had an active interest in eg making things, the natural world etc.

As the main present is a pair of headphones - his old ones broke - and a book of short stories by a favourite author (well, he used to read the actual books, now listens to them on his i-pod, which is OK) - I don't want to get anything that's related to the pc. I'd hoped the headphones would arrive today but they're not going to for another 10 days. Thoughts? Please?

Got home last night to find a bday card for him from older DS - the typed note on the front made me catch my breath - it mentioned not being 'arsed' to spend money on p & p for present so present will be brought home in holidays. OK - not the worst thing to write on an envelope - but DH & I worried that the card might in fact be from someone else who has, in the past, sent DS highly unpleasant notes so, rightly or wrongly, we opened the card. It was one of these personalised cards - you provide the text and some company writes it up.

The card was for a girl - the message was awful - made fun of DS - referred to his Xbox addiction - implied he's not very nice now he's 17 - said some daft things about who is loved more in the family - generally nasty. Our worry is that as DS isn't particularly happy at school and hasn't got friends around him - we are working on these things, obviously - he won't see what older DS clearly regards as a 'joke'.

I don't make a habit of opening DS mail or keeping it from him but this time I am worried and not a little annoyed with older DS for pulling this stunt. Am I being over protective?

[SecretSquirrels]

Well at 17 he's perfectly old enough for you to say "your present has taken longer than I expected to arrive". Surely you must have something else put by?
If not then I would go out and buy chocolate and toiletries.

Brothers can be mean to each other, that sounds exactly like the sort of thing my friend and his brother have been sending each other all their lives. Are you sure he wouldn't see the joke? If you are certain he would be badly upset then don't give it to him and tell his brother to ring him and wish him happy birthday.