My almost 17yr old daughter is pregnant. She has always been 'challenging' and the last year with her has been absolutely horrendous. I thought we were over the worst and that she would finally settle down, but now this.
She has a very volatile relationship with her bf (who is very immature, smokes weed and has an unhappy home life) and I don't think either of them are mature enough to bring up a baby.
We've told her we'll support her whatever she decides, and she says she's still thinking but I'm pretty sure she plans to continue the pregnancy. She's doing travel and tourism at college but says she wants to leave and get a job in a shop so that she can return after the baby is born. I don't know what she thinks she is going to do with the baby! I have told her I can't look after the baby for her (I work full time and can't afford/don't want to leave) but she still doesn't seem to understand that she would have to pay for childcare in order to work. She says she wants to move out, but she doesn't earn any money, and her bf has a rubbish cash in hand mechanic type job (not actually learning the trade, just a mechanic's helper really). I don't know how she thinks she can move out. Where to? I can't see his family wanting anything to do with her.
We wouldn't mind her staying here, but our relationship has been strained to breaking point this last year, and with this on top I don't think it's going to work. She wants the responsibility of being an adult but still wants me to mother her when it suits her, still behaving like a stroppy child. I think she envisages me continuing to cook, clean, do her washing, give her lifts everywhere at a moments notice, hand out money etc. while she looks after her own child. She defies all our house rules now as she thinks they no longer apply to her ("I can do what I like now!") and we feel powerless in our own home. And if we're honest, my husband and I really don't want to go back to having a baby in the house. We were younger parents ourselves, but we are just beginning to enjoy a bit of freedom now our children are older, and I've just rebuilt my career after years of having no money, and we really don't want to start again. We certainly wouldn't want DD treating our home like lodgings and I wouldn't want her bf living with us. I have an older daughter (20) and a young son (12) to think about too.
Any advice please?
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Teenagers
Pregnant teenager...don't know what to do.
24 replies
Baconandeggsarnie · 22/11/2012 11:37
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