Teenage dress sense

[Crosspollenation]

Just had a row both with DD (12) and DH (Italian !) re mufti day at school. DD puts on what we describe as tropical pants masquerading as shorts with tights. After shouting match (particularly from DH), DD changes to slightly better shorts with tights, made herself by cutting trousers to micro shorts but marginally less tight. DH still freaks, DD refuses to compromise and I support her as at least there was some compromise & DD has absolutely dug her heels in. DH wants to cut up all shorts and thinks I am encouraging this dress sense, I think that shouting and making a huge deal will only encourage her further & alienate her. Familiar to anyone...advice please ?

[scentednappyhag]

Maybe, if you can, compromise by buying her some new shorts that are an acceptable length and tightness to you as the parents, but she still gets to wear the kind of clothes she likes?
Disclaimer, I have no teenagers, so I could be talking from my arse

[ImperialStateKnickers]

Your DH needs to actually look at the girls as they come in/out of school on a non-uniform day (obv. not in a creepy way) 99% will be wearing shorts over tights. Next year it'll be some other style, and another the year after that. Eventually they will settle down and realise that slavishly following fashion is rather tit-tish, but they need to work this one out for themselves. And DH banging on will get him nowhere, and cutting up her clothes will achieve nothing but making him look tit-ish.

[LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake]

I'm sure you will get lots of people who will agree with both of you.

Me, I quietly got rid of all dd's shorts after one too many 'discussions' - one of which ended in me telling her I could see her buttocks at the bottom when she walked normally and if she bent over then I could see the seam caught in her vaginal lips. That was not a sentence I wanted to say and it did render her speechless.

Most of them are unaware how much you can see unless the tights are properly fully opaque - at the front when they look down at their legs you can barely see anything but at the back and bent over tights go very thin across curves.

It's the same with leggings, they go see through over your bum and I always tell dd that if I can tell what pants she is wearing she has to wear a longer top

[Crosspollenation]

scentednapyhag...idea good in principle but any more "suitable" clothes we suggest are dismissed with a role of the eye.

Imperial, I agree & at least she wasn't wearing a low cut top too. DH tends to over react in these situations, won't cut her clothes up but can't help but see red in these situation esp as DD is not for moving. I had to bundle him out the house before she left for school. The irony is that he bought the "tropical pants" for her though didn't see them on.

[Crosspollenation]

Luckily tights were fully opaque as it's cold outside.

[Annunziata]

Very familiar :) (British-Italian here as well... che ti sei messa! was a favourite of my dad! I think they just worry. You know what they are like with girls wearing short skirts and shorts over there).

I hate those really short shorts. I wouldn't let DD wear them either. We compromised with Hollister ones that weren't too bad.

DH tries not to shout. Usually he comes and gets me and I negotiate. I don't like bare legs, so if they want to wear shorts, they must wear thick woolly tights, preferably leggings. I always feel better when they wear boots with the shorts too, it feels like there is less leg on display. They know they can't wear a low cut top with the shorts, and they also know they aren't wearing them to church/ to see their grandmother.

DD1 bought a maxi skirt last summer, DH offered to buy her 10

[sashh]

Tell dh if he doesn't compromise then she will do something he has no choice of compromise with. So shaved head / extreme hairstyle with permenant colour, tattoos, piercings, you get the idea.

[katfinks]

hi , new to this but my dd 14 years old is now a "mosher", black clothing, pale heavy make-up, heavy metal music, well if you can call it music!! and an attitude to match. then after months of problems that are only marginally better, i decided to relax and allow the "alien" thats has taken over my dd to have it's own way, yeah i allowed her to cut her hair over her face on one side and shave the other side off!! a gamble i know but it worked :) all the adults, teacher,s family ect love it while her peer group hate it, worked for me might work for too

[Mrsrudolphduvall]

Dd has 33 inch inside legs, and likes shorts and thick tights, with boots which I think looks great.

I wish I could get away with it!

She is very conscious of things being too short and recognises that she has to ensure skirts/dresses are a decent length.