I have done something mean and wicked

[ScreamEagle]

Have nagged her for months and months about putting her dirty washing in the laundry basket. Have threatened lots of times not to do it if it isn't in there....

So her school uniform is still in a heap on her bedroom floor where she chucked it on Friday evening along with at least 8 pairs of dirty knickers and socks and numerous other items of clothing.

Thing is, come tomorrow morning she will have no school uniform which is clean. Shall I remind her so I can wash it in time? Or, (as I am inclined to do) leave it and let her wear dirty, crumpled uniform to school?

[expatinscotland]

Leave it.

You're not a maid, and she needs to learn that if she can't be bothered to bung clothes in a washing machine, then she can wear fusty ones.

[fairydust]

wash it as personally think it reflects back that the mother hasn't washed it.

(sorry if harsh just my opion)

[expatinscotland]

Yeah, it means the mother is still holding the a nearly full-grown kid's hand.

We see it all the time as administrators at uni - the students come in wearing fusty, smelly clothes b/c they had Mum as their skivvy their entire lives and never learned simple things like how to keep their own bodies and clothes clean. And man, that's sad to see in someone who's an adult.

[teeavee]

leave it! might mead to a rumpus, but at least she'll get the message

[ScreamEagle]

My argument exactly expat.

She has stepped over/trodden over the pile all weekend and still not brought it down to the laundry bin.

Total contrast to my older boys who put theirs (and their pe kits) in on Friday night and polished/hoovered their rooms and changed their beds.

I am in for a lot of Kevin-the-teengaer-style stroppiness when she realises.

[TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE]

I would sneak in, check its not filthy then leave it on the floor but possibly smooth it out a bit

[teeavee]

grin and bear it, SE - you have to show her that you're not her doormat - she'll respect you for it deep down!

[Donbean]

Thats not mean and wicked IMHO!
I think that it is encouraging a sense of responsibility and if you are lucky it may be awkward for the short time BUT will teach her a valuable lesson for the future....mum is not to be messed with.
Do it, stick to your guns, do it....i would.

[fairydust]

sorry would personaly feel ashamed that my daughter was going to school is dirty clothes.

[ScreamEagle]

She is so messy, disorganised yet very,very clever but with a startling lack of awareness at times.

I sometimes wonder if she was swapped at birth.

[teeavee]

surely can't be that dirty anyway - school is full of smelly teenagers anyway, no-one will notice

[Caligula]

I'd remind her and get her to do it herself, as she's missed the window where you do it.

I wouldn't want to let her go to school with a dirty uniform just in case she doesn't mind and gets into the habit of it!

[moondog]

Oh leave it!
Exactly what my mother would have done!
(I even make my kid carry her own baqg to/from school and she's 4!)

[expatinscotland]

Well it's better than pandering to her just to avoid a tantrum, especially if you don't do it for your other children and they still manage to sort themselves out.

Honestly, we do see a lot of students who still resort to taking the strop, thinking it's going to get them out of all sort of things they don't want to do. Well, in the real world, it doesn't.

There's no better way to start teaching people that than w/the small stuff like washing.

You nagged her. You pointed it out. She still didn't bother. Well, actions have consequences, and sometimes, they smell .

[spacenstein]

difficult one as i know where you are coming from, dd1 is terrible about keeping her room tidy, putting washing in basket etc...however, if she doesnt have clean uniform in the morning, you know you will feel bad sending her to school like that, could you take away one of her privilidges or somehing everytime she forgets to put her washing in the basket, that way she is more likely to remember to do it.

[MrsSpoon]

Is there more than one set of School unform in the laundry basket? If there is I would be tempted to take one set out and wash it, get it ready (without your DD seeing) and in the morning when she panics tell her she'll have to wear the dirty stuff, hopefully she'll be less than pleased at this prospect, then at the last minute produce the clean uniform, letting her know that next time you're not going to bother.

[spacenstein]

no she wasnt swapped at birth, she looks too much like you

[happymerryberries]

leave it, you are not her maid. there comes a time when kids have to realise that what they do (or don't do) has consequences. tatty for a day and switched on to the concept that they have to pull their wieght is better than shining clean and over protected, I think

[ScreamEagle]

I can handle the stroppiness that I just know is going to come.

Feel secretly mortified that she may have to go to school in skanky, unwashed clothes.

I have left it til this late before but reminded her in time so she can do it herslef and bung it in the tumble dryer. Fed up though of constantly nagging.

Am wanting to be strong enough to leave it, not remind her so she really learns her lesson but can feel myself weakening.

[SenoraBruja]

yes, leave it. direct consequences are much better as punishemnts than arbitrary ones - she will learn much quicker.

(you could however dig out a clean set of uniform that she's grown out of for her to wear tomorrow)

[expatinscotland]

Amen, hmb!

[happymerryberries]

Saw this not that long ago and I love it. Perfect for the stroppy teenager!

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.

RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.


RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.

[Caligula]

Oh well if you've done it before and it hasn't worked, I think you really do need to leave it this time.

But I'd actually introduce a forfeit system so that if she has to go to school with a dirty uniform because of her own negligence, she gets punished somehow - loss of pocketmoney or whatever you use. (Because you really don't want to send the signal that it's acceptable to inflict yourself on society with unwashed clothes! )

[ScreamEagle]

No clean set of uniform available I'm afraid.

That set has also been on the floor since about Wednesday evening which has also not made it to the wash bin.