Trouble with friends ...... :(

[crystaltips]

My poor DS is 12 and a really decent sort ... but recently he is beating himself up about his choice of friends ...

He went to a small prep school and made some good friends ...
HOWEVER - he is now in "big" school and it has become clear to him that these mates are a bit geeky .....

He hates himself for his disloyalty - but is terrified that he might be tarred with the same brush ... and the "others" are a bit more fun ....

He doesn't know where to turn - and I am at a loss as I feel that I can't win ...

a ) Stay loyal and get stick too
or
b ) dump your mates

It's a funny situation to be in .... usually parents of teenagers are trying to steer thair kids AWAY from the bad influence.

Any advice is welcome

[gigglinggoblin]

stick with the geeks. they will probably get better exam grades and end up ruling the world

[expatinscotland]

Stick w/the geeks! All the way.

People who actually diss you b/c of who you hang with aren't worth knowing.

[starlover]

does he make friend well?

if so he may well find he can do both! I think that kids who are pretty outgoing and confident can generally make friends easily, and can "get away" with having "geeky" friends as well!

but please tell him to be loyal! he shouldn't dump his friends!

[doormat]

crystaltips cant he be friends with them all, my ds has some geeky mates as well as the "in crowd".

I have advised ds and all my other children that at the end of the day
a mate is a mate

[Roobie]

He should make efforts to befriend the so-called "cool kids" as well. This may increase his confidence so that he can happily continue to be friends with the geeks and set a good example to those who otherwise may give them stick.

[crystaltips]

He theinks that he doesn't make friends easily ...
But the main geek really is a prat !! He has annoyed me for years .... .... he's an old woman ....

The "other" guys that he wants to be with - are by no means the trouble makers they are just fun.

He is aware that there are some who are just trouble and he wants to steer clear from them (phew)

GOD I am shallow .... BUT I know where he is coming from

[Caligula]

It's not really a question of disloyalty though, is it, it's about who you want to spend time with. And if he finds himself wanting to spend time with other people than the people he is currently spending time with, then that's what will gradually happen.

No different to that Brideshead Revisited axiom about spending the second term at university getting rid of all the friends you'd made in your first term.