Talk

Flip

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Help.. Found a used condom in sons bedroom

11 replies

welshmammy2009 · 11/09/2010 11:31

ok im in abit of a state/shock this morning and i really need some advise of you guys.

Went into my 13 year old sons bedroom this morning to get his dirty clothes for washing and noticed his bin was full so decided to empty it and to my horror i found 2 used condoms at the bottom of the bin.

Has anyone been in a simular situation what do i do? I cant believe that he is sexually active hes not very mature for his age and i dont think he has a gf.

Please help

OP posts:

Report

PeasPlease · 11/09/2010 11:34

I would bet he was 'practising' with them by himself if you know what I mean.

Report

SandStorm · 11/09/2010 11:35

Have no personal experience of this but my initial reaction was maybe he has been pleasuring himself and trying out condoms at the same time? If he has never had a girl in his room (or not recently) then it's highly unlikely he's had sex there. And it's unlikely he's done it somewhere else and brought a used condom home to throw away.

It may be time to have 'the talk' with him - maybe your DH could have a bit of time with him? He might be more comfortable/less embarrassed talking to another man rather than his mum.

Long story short, I don't think you've got anything to worry about yet.

Report

cat64 · 11/09/2010 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

welshmammy2009 · 11/09/2010 11:38

thanks to both of you that seems the obvious reason i just panicked and thought the worse. Im not with their dad anymore he doesnt do anything with the kids so the talk will have to come from me which will preobably be really embarrasing for ds

OP posts:

Report

mosschops30 · 11/09/2010 11:39

agree he was having a play. dh said this was common when he was a teenager 'just to see what it feels like'

Report

kidsncatsnwine · 11/09/2010 13:32

I know my DS1 'practised' with them! Actually while not something I was happy to find, I was quite glad he wanted to know how to use them, as he's now 17 and in a relationship!

Report

littlejo67 · 12/09/2010 22:26

I would not say anything. Think of how cringeworthy that would be for him. Get bin liners for his bin and ask him to empty his own bin if its uncomfortable for you. Its all part of having a teenage boy. I found a totally stiff sock (get the picture) in my sons draw. I just put a box of tissues in his room.

Report

onadietcokebreak · 12/09/2010 22:31

A very few percentage of boys are sexually active at age 13. I also reckon he has had a play at using them which at least shows he is being sensible.

Maybe try and have a chat with him about peer pressure and delaying tactics.

Report

pitchperfect · 15/09/2010 21:07

I agree with posters who say you've nothing to worry about. I wouldn't say anything you'll just mortify the poor lad, he's just experimenting and that's not a bad thing! At least, when the time comes, he'll know how to use it.

Report

LadyLapsang · 15/09/2010 23:07

I doubt he's sexually active (with a partner anyway)- remember when my son came home from a school trip abroad in primary school and the boys clubbed together to get some condoms from the machine, they are just curious.

Do try and chat to him about growing up, relationships, caring about people and treating them with respect as well as sex, contraception and STIs - not all in one go but gradually over the washing up / in the car etc. - you don't need to have ' the talk' just be there for chats over the years so they know they can ask you questions and seek support when they need it.