sick with worry over missing 13 yr old

[hopeless1]

Hi all, need some friendly reassurance and advice. Those of you who have read a previous thread about my 13 yr DD will know that she has been a complete nightmare. Today we had fight a physical one as I was trying to get her mobile off her, she has a blackberry and is always on it even very late at night, anyway her behaviour was so bad that I told her she could not stay at a friends house tonight. She was staying over with a friend who's mum is away and I am meant to be in charge. Friends mum knew that they were staying at another friends house. Anyway, after a load of verbal abuse I decided enough is enough and went to get her phone, hence the fight. Phone is now at home but she is not, Apparantly after phoning all her friends, she is not where she is meant to be and they all do not know where she and her friend are. It would appear that they have conspired to be elsewhere. I am sick with worry as I know she has been into the next big town meeting people, these are boys/men, as we keep getting texts on her new bog standard phone. (unable to unlock blackberry so took sim out for contacts but no contacts on it) One of these boys is a 19yr old who did not know she was 13 and met her this afternoon. Trouble is they a texts alerting us to a facebook message, which also is password protected. Have phone police to report her missing, but can't sleep and feel really sick.

help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels]

has she done this before?

fingers crossed shes home soon

[hopeless1]

No, she went missing from school for an hour but not to this extent.

How did it come to this.

[Amanda82]

Hi, Any news I have 13yr old too so can relate.
Do her friends/mates know you have called police, may help them remember something!

[HowsTheSerenity]

I would ring all her friends and friends parents now and get them to look and ask around.
Get someone to stay at home and someone to drive around town checking out the local kids hangouts.

[Goblinchild]

So there are two children missing, one of whom is your daughter?
Have you contacted the other parent?

[noteventhebestdrummer]

I hope she turns up today and is sorry even if she won't say so...

Can you make sure the 19 year old knows she is 13?

If her friends are at the same school as her, get the school to help. Even though it's hard, tell them what has happened, they are used to 13 years olds and most of us only get 1 or 2 experiences of living with them. We've been enormously helped with our DS by telling school about his antics and their counsellor is a wonderful woman who seems to get through to him.

Good luck.

[giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels]

any ews?

[KatieScarlett2833]

Been there, really feel for you.

Chances are they are with the older boys, my DD was. She is now 15 and was caught out staying with her friend and their BF's on Friday night (was supposed to be at friends). Is in doghouse for lying. No pregnancy risks, implant and condoms thank god.

The Police will catch up with them, up here school and SS were also involved due to age at the time. Try not to kill her when you get your hands on her.

[hopeless1]

Hi everyone, they have now turned up but not telling the truth, she stayed with a boy. Still defiant, I have now put block on the computer for time limits and she will now have strict supervision. The question is that her friend's aunt thinks that both of them are sexually active, do you think I should get her the morning after pill !! what side affects does this have since she will be going back to school tomorrow. She may not even take it. I want to disappear to the moon !!!

Her mum did know and is livid. Policeman came to sight them and gave them a good talking too, but did not was unsure if it did any good.

Thanks for the support

[KatieScarlett2833]

A trip to the FP Clinic for advice ASAP. My only security is knowing DD cant get PG and has a lifetime supply of condoms.

[KatieScarlett2833]

Only thing is, difficult to get if DD is denying having sex. I told mine straight that this was no time for lies, your health is far more important, etc, etc ad infinitum...

[Amanda82]

So glad she's back,def get morning after pill but have to take with 72hrs, if can't get Dr's appt can buy over counter but about £25.

[hopeless1]

Hi all, sorry not posted for a while. Very Stressed!!!. DD denies everything (no surprise there then) she states that she would not take the morning after pill as she has not had sex. Attitude is appalling. Trashed her room that night as her friend has been banned from seeing her and we have now put in ground rules about staying over. Informed the Social Worker what happened as yet she is yet to meet her social worker but she will get her to see the school nurse. Last night she went into town after school (she knows she is not allowed) by the time we tracked her down because she would not answer her phone is was 7.15. DH is completely
fed up. All we get is shut up, go away you're boring me with the odd f words thrown in. Discussed with SW about this and it is "did she know she was not allowed in town" did she know she had to come home straight from school etc"
Anyway, hope you're all well.

[hopeless1]

Thanks Maryz, good advice, we do try and spend some quality time with DS who is 8, he likes spending time with Mum and Dad. Usually rant with my colleagues at work who are supportive. As all of you who log on here. Thanks everyone. :)

[toomanytimes]

Maryz

As you can see I have changed my nickame and after too many times gave trying to find one that wasn't used used this instead.

Tonight has not been very good. After confiscating DD blackberry at the weekend and she disappearing, tonight we learnt that she had been in the safe and took the blackberry out, (must have left key in cupboard door on Sunday after a lot of worry) she has sourced a battery for this as I had removed it and hit it somewhere else. Anyway she told us it someone at leant her it because she did not have one. The problem is that when we took it off her and stated that she could have it back in the morning she went ballistic, she started hitting DH over and over again, even though he kept walking away, she kept coming, slapping him and shouting right up in our faces, throwing things at us at the walls etc. Over and Over again she kept coming, he tried to restrain her and push her back in her bedroom to calm down but to no avail. She came downstairs and got a knife threating to use it on us or herself. To calm things down we stated she could have her blackberry back in the morning , I am sure it disturbed the neighbours not to mention our 8 yr DS. I do not know what else to do, Her Social Worker only seems to be what is in the best interests for her.