Have found a completely naked picture of DS1s GF on his phone. What now?

[Goober]

She is proper starkers!
Have quizzed him as to whether or not they have had sex, he says no.
Have confescated phone and laptop.
Spoke to him at length about how wrong it is.
Told GFs mum.
Now what.

[UnePrune]

I think before we advise, we need to know how old they are!

[MollysChambers]

Oh dear! GF must be mortified... How old though?

[Goober]

She is JUST 15, he is 15.

[Goober]

It is a problem.
Her mum is beside herself.

[TriplePachyderm]

hmmmm tricky one

but why is he being punished for having a naked photo of his girlfriend

[TriplePachyderm]

well her mum may well be but if the girl consented....

[activate]

have the sex / contraception /std talk

delete the photo

get both sets of parents and both children in a room, ask for an explanation from both of them - the aim is for total mortification or open discussion - set guidelines for relationship

appreciate they won't tell you the truth

advise girl about the potential onward selling of such photos and how she's laying herself open if she allows these photos to be taken

[GypsyMoth]

at 15 they should be left to it i think....they are gearing up for it all becoming legal in a years time,or less

[Goober]

You don't think this is wrong?
I thought we were s'posed to be teaching our children to have self respect.

[MollysChambers]

Oh. That is young. Not sure what you can do other than point out she is underage and it is against the law. And tell him in no uncertain terms that contraception is not optional. Don't believe for a minute they're not having sex.

[UnePrune]

Ok, if they're 15, I can see why you're worried but this isn't abnormal.

First off I would counsel him that it is simply a BAD IDEA to have photos on phones, on FB, on the internet etc. If anyone gets hold of the photos, it doesn't end well, as he can now see.

If they're not having sex, they're not having sex. If you think they are going to (and it could well be that they are) then they NEED to have access to contraception and advice. Sorry but they do.

[GypsyMoth]

i'm wondering who took the photo of her?

[thisisyesterday]

why were you looking througih his phone? not a great way to build trust

how do you know she didn't send the pic to him?

[hobbgoblin]

you are over reacting but typing one hand so can't add weight to my pov

[activate]

I think it's a natural thing to be honest - just need parameters of behaviour and a moral code

I assume that my children are exploring by about 13 / 14 and possibly fully active from 15 to 16 onwards (the eldest 3 are boys though and I think it's different if you parent a girl - have yet to discover this bit though as dd is 5)

[TriplePachyderm]

well yes her mum needs to discuss with her that its not a good idea unless in a long term relationship

and you should tell the same to your son

but punishing, really?

if they were both hppy about it I dont quite understand why he should be punished

and how did you find it anyway?

[TotorosOcarina]

Why were you looking at his phone?

Poor them! They are 15, old enough.

Just talk to him about being safe and using a condom.

No need to punish him if its all consensul!

DH and I made a 'video' at 16!

[TriplePachyderm]

how long have they been together?

[Bacofoil]

Agree she may not know the potential consequences of her nekkid photo on someone else's phone. Suppose the phone's stolen? or his mates pinch it and have a look and copy it?

And yyy to underage. Now is the time to talk about contraception etc for when she has turned 16.

I'm with you Goober.

[Goober]

Wasn't looking through his phone, he has this pic as screensaver and phone was not hidden.

She took photo and sent it, but I suspect it was his idea.

[usualsuspect]

It sounds normal to me ..his GF must be You need to have serious words about contraception ..I wouldn't punish for this ..just talk