16 and 15 year old...

[red37]

Hi

I am going to a wedding and staying overnight, my dd who is 16 obviously is mature for her age and wants to stay on her own, I was going to send the 15 to his nans or my sisters overnight but he says I sam treating him like a baby and he does not need to be babysat...shalll I leave the 16 year old in charge and him to stay at home with her...any advice would be appreciated...thx

[Meow75]

Don't see much difference between leaving the 16yo to the 15yo. If I was him, I'd be angry too.

Just leave 'em some money for a takeaway, a few basic ground rules, and off you go.

They know your ph no, and how to get the emergency services. I am surprised you are even asking, tbh!!

[red37]

Sorry to ask but this is the first time I have gone overnight for a long time...last time they both went to the nans...just need reassurance tbh!!!

[Meow75]

I guessed it was the first time.

I didn't want to seem snarky because that's not how it was meant, but at the same time kinda let you know that it was a little bit PFB.

They'll be fine and love that you can show you trust them. Give your son a little sorry, and ask him to cut you some slack as a parent leaving her kids overnight for the first time. Hopefully, he'll see the humour in it and all will be good.


And have a good time at the wedding!!

[mumblechum]

I left my 15 (almost 16) yr old alone for a long weekend in June and everything was fine (well, he and his mate did raid the drinks cabinet but I suppose that's to be expected).

I'm sure yours will be fine.

[noteventhebestdrummer]

hmmmm

my friend left her very very sensible DS overnight with a list of rules which he promised to keep but the policemen who broke up the all night party with drugs said he broke them all...

why risk it?

[lulabellamozerella]

Me and my brother were left for 5 days when we were 15 and 16 and that wasn't too long ago.

We were fine, my aunty checked in on us a couple of times and my godmother rang every evening to check we weren't having any parties. My parents told my friends parents so they knew if we did try and organise a party.

No alcohol was kept in the house anyway as my parents didn't drink.

On the other hand my cousins were left alone for a week when they were 18 and 21. They had a huge party which was gatecrashed, whole house was trashed, there was a fight which someone got arrested for. So I think it depends on how sensible your DC are not just their age iyswim?

[colditz]

He he he

My friend's mother used to ring us every night to check we weren't having parties.

It's amazing how quiet twelve 15 and 16 year old boys and girls can be when they want to, and how quickly you can simultaniously mute a stereo and unmute Newsnight, even when you're reeling from a big fat spliff.

[lulabellamozerella]

Our problem was my mother got the next door neighbour in on her plan so the mere turning on of the stereo meant her round wielding her cricket bat incase she needed to get rid of teenagers.

To be fair it worked!

[Meow75]

Notthebestdrummer, what do you suggest then?!

How about the OP NEVER regains her independent adult life ever, and the only time she stays out overnight is when she's in the funeral home the night before her final journey.

There IS a middle ground, and your story helps no-one. So many teenagers reputations have been sullied by the foolish few!!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

MOST teenagers are trustworthy. As long as they don't put on their facebook status 'Mum and dad have gone away so have house and drinking cabinet all to myself' or something.

i would leave a 15 year old - I would also engage neighbours/friends on random check ups, as well.

[violethill]

I would leave them both. It's only one night.

TBH, you're going to want to start leaving them for weekends or longer periods over the next couple of years, because as soon as they turn 18 they can go where they like, when they like, move out, whatever, and they won't have to ask your permission.

I totally agree with Meow75. It's a process. If you can't trust a 15 and 16 year old to look after themselves for one night at home, when you can be in touch by phone, then frankly how the hell are they (or you) going to cope if they leave home at 18?

[juuule]

I'd say it depends. You know your children and obviously think the 16yo is mature enough to be left alone. What is your 15yo like? What is he like when alone with his sister? Will they help each other or wind each other up? What is making you uneasy?
Could you ask your 16yo to stay at nan's this one last time so that your 15yo would go without arguing?

Violet - We never left children alone overnight under 18. We all seem to have managed quite well when two of them went off to university at 18.
No trauma or anything

[noteventhebestdrummer]

Meow Well the OP asked so she is not sure that her DC ARE sensible enough is she? If there is an element of doubt in her mind then don't take the chance...and she can have her independent adult life back in 3 years when her kids are both 18! It is likely that they will be more (even) more sensible and trustworthy at that age.

I know my story re my friend's son is extreme and many 15/16 kids would be fine overnight. I'm blinkered to some degree because our DS has been a nightmare this year and I trusted him too many times with terrible results.