Teen tries to help but doesn't care about the mess

[MisterKatz]

14yo dd decided on Monday that she would start painting the hallway, while I was at work.

I came home to find a section of wall nicely painted, no marks on carpet, brushes cleaned.
I was shocked, but pleased.

I said it was OK to carry on. I did mention that the paint could ruin the carpet if she spilt any and didn't clean it off straightaway.

So, I came home from work on Tuesday to find she had painted another section of wall. This time the paint pot (a big 10 litre one) was left open on the floor, and the roller was left with the paint drying on it on a dust sheet.

I asked her to clean up. She started to then said her friend had called and needed to speak to dd for advice. She said she would clean up after. I said OK.

One hour later I find her texting on phone. By this time I had put paint away and left roller in sink (in case ds decides to trip over it).

She says well you can finish cleaning roller now, since you started it. I corrected her, quite politely. Reminding her that she was the one who took this on.

I said that she perhaps should stick to just taking off the wallpaper from now on.

Came home today to find her & friend had continued with painting and also found magnolia paint splotches all down the (burgundy) stairs carpet. DD was in shower because she was covered in paint.

So I came in, got changed and started to scrub the carpet myself. I know in other circumstances I would have made her do it, but I feel like I can't rely on her to do it properly.

Anyway, (sorry about length of this). I have mixed feelings about this. She was obviously trying to help, so I feel I need to recognise that. But she just doesn't seem to understand that she can't get paint everywhere. She doesn't see the impact this has.

It's like she'll do the bit she wants to do, and that's it.

Does anybody have any thoughts?

[noteventhebestdrummer]

teenages can be rubbish at seeing consequences...

I'd be VERY pleased she is doing this and rather than expect her to know about dustsheets etc to protect the carpet just make sure everything is covered before you go to work. Let her be the painter/decorator and if necessary you be the cleaner-upper afterwards.

[GrendelsMum]

I have to admit, I'm in total sympathy with your DD because I'm still like that aged 36. You have all my DH's sympathy.

The voice of experience says, how about you don't clear the brushes / rollers up? (Hide any others.)

Then she'll have to either clean up the brushes / rollers, which will take ages, or if they're ruined, she will have to make her way to the nearest DIY shop to purchase new ones of the same make and style as the originals. This is a total hassle, and then you realise why your mum (or DH in my case) nags you about cleaning.

But learning that you need to allocate about as long for prep and clear-up as you do for painting itself is a valuable lesson in itself, for all sorts of situations. When I first went to work with professional gardeners, I was amazed to see that they stopped cutting trees down etc at least 30 mins before they needed to stop work, in order to ensure that everything was fully cleaned and put away by the end of the day. It's not surprising that your DD hasn't learnt this yet at 14.

Could you try treating her as a professional painter? She gets paid for painting, but money is removed for the cost of new brushes and or carpet cleaning? In 4 years or so, she might have herself a good little business