what time does your 12/13yr old dd come in?

[ThatVikRinA22]

DD is sulking. she was 13 a couple of weeks ago.

reason?

she wants to go to the park with her friends, at 7.30pm.

this isnt a nice area and my special needs son was assaulted in broad daylight last week on a main road, at 8.30pm. (this is the second time in 18 months)

both my hubby and i have said its too late for DD to go out. she does get freedom during the day, today she went with friends swimming and into town. Tomorrow she is going into town to buy cinema tickets with a friend. on Saturday she is going with friend to cinema. but im drawing the line at the park at 7.30 where all the local scuzz sit and get pissed. (i know - i policed the little sods for 18 months as a special here)

so. do i use the immortal line " i dont care what your friends are allowed to do, you are not!" and just let her sulk? she thinks i am being too hard because of what happened to her brother.

what time do your 13yr old daughters come in from playing?

[BelligerentGhoul]

I wouldn't allow mine to go to the park at that time. DD1 is 15 and dd2 13. They do sometimes go in the daytime and that's fine but always home in time for dinner, so 6.30 at the latest.

I don't know your 'story' sorry but I think the 'I don't care what your friends are allowed to do' line is always one worth having to hand!

eg: a few days ago lots of dds friends went to a park by their old primary school to just 'hang out' and I didn't let her go because I hate the idea of a whole gang of them just hanging around (I know what I used to get up to when doing this!). Today, she went to the local park to go on rollerblades = fine.

[BelligerentGhoul]

Apologies for lost apostrophe - I believe it was last seen in the park a few evenings ago.

[Butterbur]

Round here girls and boys start drinking in the local park from about year 8. The potential problems are obvious. There must be a huge number of parents who don't know or don't care what their kids are doing.

So I wouldn't let my daughter (12) go and hang around parks in the evening.

In fact she hasn't ever asked to go out in the evening, apart from round friends' houses yet.

[ThatVikRinA22]

thought so.

i feel vindicated then. she isnt going so its tough bananas.

[SuzieHomemaker]

I wouldnt let my DD1 (aged 14) go to the park to just hang out. She has said that some of her contemporaries are starting to hang out and get drunk then stay out all night .

Thankfully she doesnt want to join them as she likes her creature comforts too much.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

No. DD has to be in by 7 at the latest.

There is no way i would let her go to the park at that time. She doesn't even bother asking (she is 14 btw).

We live in a city centre anyway, so I used that as an excuse, she is fine with it. It is actually easier I think when you live in a city, we used to live in suburbia where it was quite safe, and loads of kids were allowed out until 10ish, as parents thought they would come to no harm. They just went and sat in the park with booze.

Big problem with pot and mephadrone round here as well, so no way is dd allowed out at night.

[Ineed2]

No my middle Dd is 14 and she is not allowed out to the park after tea. Our park is always full of teens in the evening and alcohola and canabis are freely available. Sometimes she and her friends come in our garden or on our drive until 9 but thats it. I too am a great believer in " I don't care what any one else does" I also regularly tell Dd2 that the reason I don't let her do certain things is because I take my job of parent very seriously and I want to make sure she is safe. She does usually respect this and doesn't push the boundaries toooo far.
Good luck, remember what ever you decide has to be right for your family, to heck with what everyone else does.

[deaddei]

Mine is nearly 14, and I wouldn't letter go to the park at that time.
She's never asked- it's not the sort of things her friends do- obviously have draconian parents like us!!!
She can be out and about as much as she wants during the day, but is expected home by 6.30.

[deaddei]

"letter"? mean let her.

[BitOfFun]

It's fairly nice round here, and I have let her stay out until half eight with her friends before.

No bloody more though

I've got my own thread going in Chat now too...

[ThatVikRinA22]

oh bof....i will seek your thread out and have hankies at the ready....hold on!

[purepurple]

DD is 13 and has just started to go to the park. She has to be in by 6pm. I have just extended the curfew to 8pm for the summer holidays. But, this depends on her behaviour and can be changed at any time. She has been a PITA recently so this is a carrot that I have dangled. We have tried the grounding and taking away her pocket money etc. I have given her some responsibility and will see if she can step up to the mark.

[inthesticks]

I've naver been afraid to say "different parents have different rules". Not that they like it but I have been saying it since they were toddlers and not just now they are older.

I think that 7.30 in the park when it is light nights is ok depending on the park.
Ours is just a field in the village where there is just the odd passing dog walker.
Your park sounds a whole lot different.

I'd say bring your friends home. Then you know where she is.

[shinyshoes]

my DS is 13 and he is allowed to the park until 5.30pm then he is to head back this way (it turns into a bit of a gang hangout around 6.00pm).

He is allowed out until 8.30pm but he is very local. literally a street away and with friends,, this is only in the summer when it is still light out.

When its winter he's to be in a 5.00pm as it's dark then and he's not allowed out after this time

[Surprise]

My DD is just 14 and is allowed out with her friends after tea, until around 8.30. However, we live in a small village and there really is nowhere else for the small amount of kids to gather. As long as it's a safe environment (which I feel our park is) then no problem. I feel that I wouldn't let my DD go to your local park if it's as you describe it, as it sounds a bit seedy tbh.

[hopeless1]

Our DD is 13 years old (nearly 14) and she is allowed out until 8.30 during the summer months, although often she will come in before. The husband is a dab hand at sniffing our drugs and drink (probably because he still a senior serving member of the armed forces and deals with this all the time) As the nights draw in I have no qualms of setting new times and come winter she will not be allowed out in the dark. Arguing will often cause resentment but we find a compromise will often work. Good luck

[MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry]

My 13 year old doesn't go out.

[SlartyBartFast]

til @ 9.30 at the moment, but will be earlier as the nights draw in.
tis a village.
she knows to avoid any trouble.

[SlartyBartFast]

actually i thought they were going to the park but it turns out, after seeing her facebook photos, it is the woods
i was very surprised and glad i found out, but probably wont let her go there again...