Crossing the line into middle age...

[SausagesonFriday]

I'm rapidly approaching the big 40 and was pondering at what age a woman usually stops being "desirable" (in the eye of normal males rather than those with a granny-fetish!)

I was scanning the playgound today waiting for DS and it suddenly hit me that I, and the other mums, are no longer anywhere near being classed as young.

The classic youthful look (toned body, glossy hair, pouty lip thing) is definitely fading with age - and I guess there must be moment at which we cross the line and join the invisible older woman group .

Whilst I don't intend to go without a fight, am I being realistic in thinking the invisible line is fast approaching?

[cocolepew]

Yeah some blokes aren't that fussy.

[CybilLiberty]

Try looking a couple in the eye and smiling...you'd be amazed .

[KristinaM]

well i dont know about how men feel, but i still find my DH desirable and he is over 40. and i think i am a "normal" woman without a grandad fetish

[purplepeony]

OFGS- you are still 39! Wait til you hit your 50s dear.
Make the most of what you have at any age.
It's all about attitude- you can still look good you just need to work harder at it!

[SausagesonFriday]

Ah yes Kristina - but it is I think completely different for men.

For most men ageing is almost seen as a good thing - no-one expects them to have flawless skin - and grey hair is considered sexy!

[cocolepew]

Toned body = pullyinpants

glossy hair = dye

pouty lips = lip gloss.

You're only 40!

[pointydoug]

Just eye up the older blokes.

A lecturer of mine (nearing 50) said he found himself admiring 40 year old women in sainsbury's. SO there you go.

Cheer up.

[TracyK]

I know what you mean - I used to turn heads being a tall, slimmish blonde 'girl'. Now I'm invisible being a sensible blondey - but low lighted, bigger 'woman'.

Though I think I still look good for my age - up close - no longer got that 'youthful' look.

[SausagesonFriday]

Pointydoug - perhaps you could point me towards the Sainsbury's in question...

[Toots]

It's the sizzle not the sausage.

[pointydoug]

lol sausages.

Must admit, I've been going to sainsbury's a lot more often now

[Katisha]

The definition of middle age is 15 years older than you.

[ADifferentMe]

I do know what you mean but I think a lot of it is in the mind. I look back at photos from ten years ago and realise how good I looked, but presumably I'll be thinking the same thing about my current self in another ten years.

I think I need a lot more grooming now (at 47) - I can't get away with the natural look unless it's achieved with a lot of makeup.

The big eye opener for me was being told by a man in our village that I had beautiful legs, only to find out he was 94 .

I think men will notice women regardless of their age if they have a certain "something".

[Toots]

Exactly ADifferentMe. I've always based my 'something' around being a bit cheeky, keeping an eye on my posture and having great haircuts. Am hoping it will keep a spring in my step.

[OrmIrian]

Fuck! I feel more gorgeous than I ever did when I was younger.

Sadly the mirror and the camera are right bastards

[ADifferentMe]

Toots, for me it's my enormous knockers Bugger subtlety!

Orm - I remember your photo and you are gorgeous!

[SausagesonFriday]

Time for a quick inventory of remaining body parts. Should I focus on:-

1. Cracked heels;
2. Thread veined legs; or
3. Saggy boobs

?

[purplepeony]

you can do something about the first 2, but not the 3rd unless you go for surgery- or an underwired uplift bra.

[KristinaM]

sausages -

heel balm

opaques

good underwired bra

sorted!

[dollydoughnut]

I am 47 (and sometimes feel it)but honestly, because I had my four children in my 30's and was so busy during that time, it wasn't until I became 40 that I realised I was attractive to other men, confident in myself and had 'lived'.

I am happily married and, luckily, am able to work part-time so that I am there when the children come home from school.

I feel better now that I have ever felt. I have had more experiences (moving countries, city to country, etc) and, even though I regard myself as being shy, had more compliments from men and women now than I have ever had.

I really do think it is a state of mind. We can't do anything to hold back the ageing process but we CAN change our mindset into one that is positive. Just remember that we have experienced so much more than someone younger than us. I find that more interesting. If you make an effort to keep fit (in both mind and body) then getting older shouldn't be too daunting.

[mwff]

stop defining yourself in terms of desirability to the opposite sex.

whether or not you're available/looking, not caring will help immensely.

[Toots]

Mwff - precisely. Like several others have said I feel better at nearly 43 than ever before. I feel bloody gorgeous a lot of the time, mirrors are less important, what do they know anyway?

By the way, those who need reading glasses and fear they aren't seeing that which warrants a good pluck, can I say to you: Tweezerman 12x magnifying mirror. You will be hysterical about what you've been missing. In both a good and bad way.