i need some advice to appraoch mother

[nailpolish]

mum is 59
she has lovely blondey ginger hair, its been getting lighter as she gets older (naturally)
when she was a teen/early 20s it was jackie bird style ginger (but hse loved it and suited it)

anyway

she came to visit at the weekend

she has had it DYED almost blood/pillarbox red, grown it into a bob (chinlength) and bought a whole new palette of make up

i almost died

she looks awful

she is bit overweight, has no chin and the bob looks wrong. the colour drains it all out of her face and she is wearing strong colour lipstick which is wrong too. she is v pale with v v v v pale blue eyes

imo hair should get lighter as you get older - i really liked her blondey hair and curls

she also has a bald path on her crown (slightly bigger than a 50p piece - its from stress her dr says and im not surprised tbh) and now her hair is dark the patch is very noticable

i wan to tell her but i know she will get upset

[brimfull]

hmmm difficult

try taking a photo and showing her,see if she realises herself

how old is she

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[nailpolish]

shes 59

[nailpolish]

she has had a hard time with other stuff in her life

very hard recently

[brimfull]

oh sorry 59 phew ! I am younger.

I would be honest about the colour as she can get that changed ,the cut ,well you could say that it's ok but you think she would suit a diff style better.

As for the makeup...????

[dividedselfridgesxmaswindow]

Maybe she should post a before and after pic on that hot or not site and you can discuss the results with her?

[nailpolish]

i took her to the mac counter buyt she ended up buying a really dark lipstck

[kittylouise]

Depends how sensitive she is, and how tactful you are.

Have never commented on my mum's sense of style since I (stupidly) commented that her new haircut made her look like a 70s footballer. In my defence I was only 17.

[nailpolish]

hse knows she has a bald patch but cant see it herself obv

she is only little (5' like me) so everyone else who is taller than her can see it

[My2Weegirls]

could you treat her to colour palette advice session thing with a professional?

[TheGoatofBitterness]

i don't thin kyou can do anything abuot thsi without really hurting her feelings. does she have any sisters?

[nailpolish]

i think i can talk to h er about the make up stuff and she will be fine about that - she knows i drone on about make up and im quite bossy too so shes used to it

its just the hair

her sister is her bloody hairdresser too so she should know better but when i asked her about it (the sister) said "well its what your mum wanted"

[TheGoatofBitterness]

@ sister. talk about the makeup and then discuss hair from a 'what has your sister done to your hair' perspective.

[brimfull]

You could mention that the bald spot is more noticeable,she'd want to change the colour then.

[ZippiBabesBeenAnAwfulBadGirl]

pity she didn't ask your opinion beforehand

I think you need to help her out

did you manage to conceal your shock when you saw her/ does she live near?

I think my dds are trained to criticise their mum

but i seem to have done pretty well on my appaearncae since i got dumped

before that my dd1 made alot more unfavourable comments

while it's nice for them to say nice things i would rather they were nice things that were meant

did she dye her hair herself?

i do mine and find that the loreal couleur experte is good

tho she probably needs a hairdresser if she wants to go lighter

find some pics that would suit her and take her out for a meal and have a chat

[lennygrrl]

Message withdrawn

[nailpolish]

she has 3 sisters - one died a few years ago from cancer, one died on boxing day jsut passed from cancer (mum was her carer and went in every day to help as well as working ft and living alone - mum is so amazing) and now her ohter sister (the hairdresser) is going through chemo for cancer

so mum is having a hard time just now.

god the hair style seems to pale into insignificance when you say all that doesnt it

[ZippiBabesBeenAnAwfulBadGirl]

took me to long to post that re hairdresser

[TheGoatofBitterness]

that is really sad np. honestly i would just leave it.

[lennygrrl]

Message withdrawn

[brimfull]

buy her a nice hat?

[nailpolish]

i thin i wil lsay "i much preferred your hair lighter. you could see your blue eyes better"

or sommat

[TheGoatofBitterness]

that is ok to say and then just leave it i think.

[nailpolish]

we did hav a shite xmas tbh

i spent new year organsing funeral cars

maybe i could take her to a swanky hiardresers in edinburgh as a treat?

[ZippiBabesBeenAnAwfulBadGirl]

oh I am sorry to hear that she must be very upset

I guess she wanted to try and brighten herself up

still take her out and make her feel a bit special and still get her to change it

I imagine she is feeling quite I am getting old and feeling very exposed and vulnerable