Where to buy bras, sizes, and frilly pants

[fasterthanthewind]

So... I hate shopping, but DS is now 2, and it's beyond time to get some new bras. Old ones have got to the stage where they ride up over nipples...

• small breasts - breasts feel better in a bra, but it's not totally essential
  
• smallish back, relatively skinny
  

M&S said 36AA years ago; more recently I think 32B or 30C or was it 34B? I dunno - but small, anyway. I've got the idea of how to measure myself (no tape measure handy now) - but once I have, then where should I look? Styles? Names? I just loathe shopping so much, and this has been on my to-do list for months...

Oh, and also pants - I still wear (exceptionally tatty) M&S cotton pants, and there's a bit of me that kind of aspires to something different. But what?
It has to be comfortable (no silly string things) And also, I've never understood how people make fancy pants work - do you buy the ones that 'belong' to a particular bra? Isn't it bank-breakingly expensive? And don't you have to buy about 5 per bra (I don't wash my bras very often...)

[StatisticallyChallenged]

If you can measure yourself it will be easier to recommend bras, as there is a huge variation depending on size with many brands only doing some sizes. The measuring guide is here - //thebetterbracampaign.blogspot.co.uk/p/fitting-advice.html

Pants wise - I buy a mix of ones which match, and plain colour but comfortable ones!

[InMySpareTime]

(Marking place waiting for OP to measure properly and find she's actually a 28E)
For what it's worth, my "barely a handful" breasts are 26GG.

[fasterthanthewind]

don't think that's even vaguely likely, inmysparetime! but I'm home now so off to find a tape measure...

[fasterthanthewind]

fallen at the first hurdle! tape measure only goes up to 25"... now can I find another...

[fasterthanthewind]

Right. It's not ideal, but I've found one of those paper ikea measuring tapes (only in cm) and it says:

75 cm under (29.5")
and
85 cm on (33.5")

The on-breast one varies a great deal depending on whether I'm breathing out or in, and where the tape sits on nipples...

So???

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Did you tske the on breast one leaning over?

[InMySpareTime]

I make that a 30D to start from.
(Equivalent to a 28DD so I was close)

[fasterthanthewind]

yes leaning over. they're small and 'compact' - they don't come away from my body much when leaning. i followed the instructions on the link you sent, I think...

30D? Well, I can try it!

what should I try? I'm effectively bra-less at the moment (2 bras, one utterly useless, the other getting that way) so I reckon I need at least 3: 1 black 1 nude 1 white. What should I try?!

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Yup, starting point of 30D. In terms of what to try - you'll have a fairly good selection. Do you have a Debenhams or John Lewis nearby? They stock a good range of brands in that size so you could try a variety.

[fasterthanthewind]

is figleaves any good? not sure I'm going to brave shops in this heat with 3 summer holiday kids in tow!

i also have had too many bra shopping experiences when they try something and it's way too big and they come back several times with ever smaller and more unpleasant suggestions! this is one of the places where internet shopping comes into its own...

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Figleaves have a great selection, I've used them loads of time.

[fasterthanthewind]

mmm. well, I ordered something like £600 worth of bras etc., of which precisely NOTHING looks nice, and only about 3 things even vaguely fit. Most manage the amazing feat of squashing everything so flat it's almost invisible, being baggy and saggy, and at the same time so tight I can hardly breathe.
Went to JL last week in the end, and could find precisely nothing.
Anyway, I'm going to send almost everything back tomorrow (may even be everything, depends what the cold light of morning shows).
Any advice on the kind of bra I should be looking for? I need ones with some sort of shape to them, as basically there's nothing to hold up, so gauzy/flimsy ones just hang off me like sacks (or squash me flat). What do all the shapes mean? Do I need a full cup/half cup/balconette/tshirt bra - what does it all mean [wails and tears hair...]

[NerfHerder]

Urgh- that is so demoralising!

JL do Fantasie bras, which I like best (30E/32E), or their sister company Freya. Both last and wash well (I machine wash I'm afraid, but in a washing bag).
I don't get specific shapes, I just get the ones which fabric I like!

[StatisticallyChallenged]

OK, can you give a bit more detail on what you tried and what was wrong with them? That will help to narrow down what shape you need.

[fasterthanthewind]

Thank you both... yes, demoralising...

So here's what I bought:

Juna Balconette Bra, Ivory, 28D1£23.00
Paige Italian Lace Half Cup Bra (A-DD), Red, 30C1£24.00
Marvel Underwired Side Panel Bra, Nude, 30D1£30.00
Patsy Underwired Padded Half Cup Bra, Black, 30D1£31.00
Microfiber T-shirt Bra, Black, 30C1£31.00
Patsy Underwired Padded Half Cup Bra, Ink, 30D1£31.00
Patsy Underwired Plunge Balcony Bra, Ink, 30D1£31.00
Beau Underwired Plunge Bra, Lollipop, 30D1£32.00
Lola Scallop Lace Padded Plunge Bra, Neon Pink, 30D1£34.00
**Icon Perfect Push Up Bra, Bare 20N, 30C1£35.00
Stella Mesh Balconette Bra, Blush Pink, 30D1£42.00
Embrace Lace Contour Bra, Black, 30D1£43.00
Merci Memory Foam T-Shirt Bra, Black, 30C1£47.00
Merci Memory Foam T-Shirt Bra, White, 30C1£47.00
Merci Memory Foam T-Shirt Bra, White, 30D1£47.00

It's almost impossible to work out how names match to actual bras - the one that fits me best is a white Chantelle one, 30D, that I can't see here (it'll have another name).

Most of them gape at the top. Some manage both to gape and to squash. I don't know! I feel like I'm a hopeless case...

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Right, I haven't tried all of these but, can you tell me how the Juna, Marvel and the different patsy styles fit please? Juna is a plain looking balconette with a bit of lace along the top of the cup. Patsy is sort of spotty and made by freya. Marvel is also Freya

They're more common brands so easier to work from!

[fasterthanthewind]

Ok, a moment of peace!

Freya Patsy padded 30D- way way too big in cup, I can fit my whole hand in between fabric and me.

Freya underwired plunge balcony 30D- again, way too big, goes into sort of gauzy wrinkles everywhere

Juna - 28D actually this one doesn't fit so badly. Makes everything look fairly teeny tiny.

Marvel - 30D - these sort of fabric-only ones tend to be a disaster for me, I realise. doesn't fit as badly as the patsy ones, but still not something i can wear.

I now realise there were a couple of others that came in that order that didn't get onto my list. One is a Wacoal Embrace Lace Contour 30D that I initially thought was the most comfortable so I'd keep; I've now worn it, so I do have to keep it, but after a day's wear it's uncomfortable in a new place for me - it's as if the shoulder straps come out too close to my armpit, so it chafes a bit. Several of these bras seem to do this, so that I end up with a tasteful bit of an armpit fat bulge...

you are kind to give all this advice...

[StatisticallyChallenged]

OK, re the armpit bulge have (and gaping) first thing is have you tried scooping? Pop the bra on (I tend to do this side on to a mirror!), put your left hand in the right cup and pull all the soft tissue/armpit bulge etc in to the cup. Repeat on the other side.

Try that and see if it makes a difference

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Oh, also, have you shortened the straps on the ones which are gaping? (I know this sounds obvious but you'd be surprised how many don't)

[fasterthanthewind]

Yes to scooping and shortening!

Basically my breasts are v small and v solid, and there's not much to hold in/up! There is a little bit to scoop, but if I try too enthusiastically then I just get ribcage skin in there as well, and that's uncomfortable.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

If you are quite solid, part of the issue might be that there won't be much flexibility in your shape so your breasts won't mould to match the bra, which happens with softer bras. So on you a bra will either fit, or it just won't!

Is the issue with the Juna just that it makes them look a bit smaller and doesn't boost much? Is the actual fit ok?

Out of interest what shape do you generally wear? I'm wondering if plunges might be better for you

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

I know you don't want to go to a shop OP, but bra shopping really is one thing where you can see the value in going to a shop. You might be just into Bravissimo territory, or do you have a good independant nearby?

Then you can just sit there in a dressing gown, while a real life StatisticallyChallenged runs backwards and forwards with armfuls of bras and you end up with things that fit, without having to order hundreds from figleaves, only to have to send most of them back .

Once you have got a handle on your size and preferred style, you could then get more from figleaves/brastop/ebay etc.

[fasterthanthewind]

Statistically: you're right - my breasts don't mould at all, really (other than by being squashed!) Juna, yes, it didn't fit badly with a bit of fiddling about - so with that one it was looks more than fit that was the problem. And the seam up the middle, which I know from experience too often looks awful after a bit.
I don't know what shape I generally wear. It's been 5 years since I went bra shopping, and since then I've either been in nursing bras, or in an expensive but now v worn out Marie Jo one (from Rigby and Peller). Not sure what shape that is - some sort of full cup style.

you're probably right too, onilkleymoor. Has never been a happy experience for me - too many people sniffing at me and saying well, in your size we mostly have junior bras...

But I think I do have to bite the bullet and go to a shop. Possibly tomorrow (it's then or Sept!) Any recommendations? Central London best.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

BTW, I've forgotten to ask, how are the bands?

If you are in central london, I would say John Lewis and Bravissimo. Bravissimo start at a D cup, John Lewis do more of a range. Rigby are good too but they tend to only have pretty pricey ranges where the sizing doesn't always line up.

If the Juna fits but doesn't suit IYSWIM, I wonder if it might be worth looking at some of the other moulded cleos for a better cut. There are a few:

Jude which is a plunge
Neve, another plunge but different shape
Maddie, balconette without the seam and runs smaller than other cleos too

[fasterthanthewind]

bands - well, they do vary, don't they! I'd say 30 generally is right, but in some cases is too loose (best done up on the tightest fitting already).

OK I will brave shops today... R&P is just too expensive for me, so I'll try the others...