Dh says I look frumpy others say classy and we'll put together. Help.

(178 Posts)
lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 08:23:23

Just after an opinion. I like the way I dress, have a nice capsule wardrobe , am a reg lurker here. I am not a jeans and converse type of girl , which dh seems to prefer.

For example, last week I wore the grey Janice phase eight dress, tights, knee high brown boots and tan leather jacket. Dh said it was frumpy and I would be better in jeans. I like casual day dresses, have another phase eight Elsie dress , still on web, which I thought was flattering and with a cardigan and pointed heels. At work I wear ted baker jumpers, pencil skirts, jumper dresses etc. last year I saved up and bought the lovely navy wool Hobbs kasia pea coat and can't wait to wear it

Women at work will often say I look nice, my colour palette is navy, grey, black, deep purple sometimes. I have no intention of changing my wardrobe but just wondered if it did sound frumpy. As I said, lots of compliments from other women, just not from dh. What do you think. I am 38, size 10 to 12.

Thanks

Fuckitthatlldo Sun 13-Oct-13 10:04:48

Ha! grin Ok. That was a bad day, for sure.

flipchart Sat 12-Oct-13 21:43:34

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Wouldn't catch her in baggy jeans and a hoody ;-)

Maybe she should!!!

PAsSweetOrangeLurve Sat 12-Oct-13 21:08:32

OP, dress how you want.

I sometimes get a comment from my DH that he feels a bit under-dressed if I have made an effort. But he will always compliment me and tell me that I look good - and if he feels very under-dressed then he'll go and change grin

Although he is honest and if he thinks that something doesn't look good, then he will say so.

It's not very kind to make digs at you. You need to tell him that.

Fuckitthatlldo Sat 12-Oct-13 16:09:39

Clemence Posey, on the other hand, almost always looks amazing. A young woman who dresses classically, is always understated and elegant, and stylish in that effortless French sort of a way.

Wouldn't catch her in baggy jeans and a hoody ;-)

Fuckitthatlldo Sat 12-Oct-13 16:04:35

I don't think classic clothes are ageing either. I am often mistaken for being much younger than I am (late twenties when actually I am in my late thirties.) This is down to long term use of retinoids. I can't recommend them enough - my skin is in such excellent condition now and I used to battle with hormonal breakouts which were a nightmare. These days I look like a foundation advert and I love the confidence it gives me. Fine lines have significantly reduced and even the deep 'elevens' I once had have shown dramatic improvement. I never need to wear foundation or much concealer these days. Tretinoin - I heart you.

But I digress. I agree with Steppedon. Dressing classically doesn't make you look older, it makes you look understated and wealthier. This was never a deliberate thing on my part - I'm not materialistic and never set out to look 'rich'. I just wanted to look stylish. But it's a definite by-product of wearing the clothes I like to wear anyway.

Personally I think that dressing really young when you're not is ageing in itself. Like that woman on does my bum look 40. I'm sorry, I'm sure she's a great woman, but she looks ridiculous in those high top wedge trainers. Really really try-hard.

lupo Sat 12-Oct-13 15:15:19

Interesting reading, I have been told that I look younger than my years so maybe what I am wearing it not ageing me too much then. I think will keep as I am but maybe dress down a bit when we go out in the evening, or add flats rather than heels to a dress.

pictish Sat 12-Oct-13 13:52:31

Kate Middleton doesn't choose her own clothes, she wears what the Royal stylists are instructed to dress her in - whatever say she has will be minimal, and fwiw, I think she is dressed like a woman 20 years her senior.
God awful.

dojonoodle Sat 12-Oct-13 13:51:58

I don't think you sound frumpy OP.

Being frumpy isn't just about what clothes you wear, more about how you mix/ accessorise things, your figure, your posture and the general way you conduct yourself.

Different people suit different clothes and feel comfortable in different clothes. Personally, I never wear converse or other trainer type shoes except if exercising. However, my sister and daughter look great in them. They just have a different style.
I do wear jeans but always with boots or ballet pumps. I frequently get compliments and am told that I look a lot younger than my age so I disagree that classic clothes are necessarily ageing.
I think Kate Middleton ages herself more by wearing too much make up and she seems to have a fair few wrinkles across her forehead for someone her age, maybe too much sun. I think that she mostly selects clothes that suit her figure, role and style.

flipchart Sat 12-Oct-13 12:22:08

I think what turns me off about Kate Middleton's on duty dress style and the OP's is that it was the way my nan insisted I dressed when I was 17.

She would have been in her late 50's then and dressed like that (and did until she died at the age of 96) Who wants to dress like their nan when they young
No bloody wonder I rebel against formal clothes!

I think Kate Middleton knows her style and looks good, on or off duty. I don't think she looked older in her twenties -just very stylish and classic. Nothing wrong with looking classic. I disagree that it ages women.

flipchart Sat 12-Oct-13 11:14:31

steppedon. The example that was used before was Kate Middleton. When she came on to the scene in her 20's she looked way older when she was dressed in classic stuff.

She looked miles better 'off duty' or when he was doing an informal engagement such as the time she picked up a hockeystick and had a photo opportunity with that.

I don't think people look older dressed smarter-they just look wealthier.

I personally don't think skinnies and converse equates to youthful. It's just your taste in clothes. It can rapidly look mutton on both men and women though to my mind.

Love those boots OP.

Your husband sounds like he needs to concern himself with his own sartorial efforts, not you.

flipchart Sat 12-Oct-13 10:45:51

I second Cos. I've been getting stuff from there for ages.

ThePuffyShirt Sat 12-Oct-13 10:40:58

I think you probably look very smart OP.

It would be a bit Kate Middleton for me (who I think dresses decades older than she is) but all very groomed looking.

ProfondoRosso Sat 12-Oct-13 10:26:17

If you like to look elegant with a bit of edge, lupo, have a peep at Cos - really gorgeous, unusual stuff for we dress lovers! Cos smile

MissScatterbrain Sat 12-Oct-13 08:38:44

My DH would love it if I wore dresses more often!

choceyes Sat 12-Oct-13 08:14:43

British way??!

choceyes Sat 12-Oct-13 08:13:56

You sound very elegant OP. Nothing wrong with what you are wearing.
Although my MIL dresses like that too and she really looks good in it..she is 62.
I'm 36 and I'd look 10 years older if I dressed like that, but that's because it's just not me. Jeans, converse and hoodie really suits me and the British way I look. My smarter looks are cute mini dresses, skinny trousers smart boots etc.

LoopThePoop Fri 11-Oct-13 23:05:55

OP...
You also bitched about your DH.

Pot and kettle

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 23:03:17

Forgot to add have olive, Asian skin, not as dark as hers

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 22:59:55

Thanks all, I like my wardrobe but will try and add a bit of edge and less formal. Some posters have asked what I look like, I get told a lot that I resemble angela griffin when she is in Waterloo road. I don't watch it but did once and I guess I do but would say I am a smaller build with same hair and colouring

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 11-Oct-13 22:40:05

The clothes / boots don't look that 'cool' or trendy but not necessarily frumpy either. They remind me of stuff a friend of a friend wears and has done ever since uni (ahem, looong time ago!). She looks very very hot in sleek and classy clothes and they really suit her.

LoopThePoop Fri 11-Oct-13 22:32:17

I said it upthread,
You don't need to look like an old woman some posters seem to think its frumpy wrap dresses or childish converse and gym wear.

I'm 35 I wear neither but still manage to look age appropriate

Fuckitthatlldo Fri 11-Oct-13 22:26:22

grin grin grin "looking as though you're paying homage to Margaret Thatcher."

Now that is the most heinous insult I've ever heard on Mumsnet.

Flipchart I challenge you to a duel!

polyhymnia Fri 11-Oct-13 21:37:18

I personally think that Elsie dress and heels are too 'formal' for a relaxed meal out at a restaurant - think smart jeans and a nice top better for most restaurant outings - and so I guess I can understand that remark a bit, though it certainly sounds as if it wasn't tactfully put.

But that's just my personal opinion.Your wardrobe is clearly on the safe/ conservative side and that's your choice.

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