Yes I feel really sorry for DSS as he tries to make sense of it all and mostly we just have a great time but he has such a lot on his plate and I just don't know how to help him.

His Mum isn't lazy - possibly selfish, aren't we all a little bit? - but also violent when crossed and in deep, deep denial about how much her condition affects the children (not to mention the rest of us!)

I am that the dss and dsd have such a tough time.

hey please dont feel sorry for us ie DP, I and GP's but for DSD

mmrred & elenor

DSD's mum gave her cheese and crackers for lunch today.
Same old really, we do our best for DSD, mum does the minimum.
If it wasnt for us DSD would be in a right state.
I dont wonder I know...
She is lazy and selfish, she knows DP and I will put DSD back together and then have to send her back to her.
Mum then neglects her again. We sort it out gain. Mum neglects again, ad infinitum.

You do have to wonder, don't you? DSS has never been to the dentist. We haven't had the nit thing for a while, but his hair looks awful.

I'm also getting quite concerned about the things he's telling me about having to eat all his food - if he doesn't eat all his dinner (he says) it is served up again next mealtime.

I know food preparation is difficult for his mother but this is ridiculous!

Also he's been talking about holidays again and we feel terrible but we just can't face court again...

We have a similar experience mmrred.
DSD aged 6 always comes to us with...
too small, smelly clothes
nails uncut
hair uncut
nits
verrucas
bad teeth (DSD had nine extracted earlier this year.)
Mum has her the vast majority of the time btw

Also no homework done, even though shes with her mum most of the time! Mum then txts DP telling him DSD needs to do her homework with him, despite DSD being with her most of the time.

Nice huh....

Crumbs

Had DSS (7) today - he's filthy, as usual, hasn't been in the bath since we had him last. Also he said he had a scratch on his foot so I told him I'd put some cream on it - when I go to put it on his toenails are like talons, and curving round into his toes. I try so hard not to react to this stuff but I did ask him if his Mum cuts his nails - he said she does do older brother's (not my DH's son, and he's 13). I haven't noticed his nails before but that might be because he used to bite them off (he said) but can't reach them anymore.

And she hasn't responded to our polite letter asking her to confirm Xmas dates (which she does on purpose, knowing we have lots of family stuff to juggle).

Sigh.