First meeting

[fairyglad]

Hi, I'm new to all this so all help gratefully received!! I've been with my bf for 18 months and he's insisting that we tell his daughter about us....I have no children of my own and am completely terrfied of meeting her after hearing so many horror stories....I do have children in my life that i love dearly but this seems different...any tips on how to make the first meeting go well? She's 9....thank you fr any help

[ginnny]

Don't try too hard.
Don't try to 'mother' her or patronise her.
Don't be over affectionate with her dad in front of her.
Basically just be yourself and let her decide the pace of things.
I have a fantastic relationship with my dp's dd, I love her to bits, she is like my little sister and I think that is the key. I don't have maternal feelings towards her as I have my own dc, and also I met her when she was 11 so very nearly a grown up )
Good luck

[2rebecca]

I'd just treat her like a friend's child. Don't take it personally if she's distant or unpleasant. Stay in the background a bit at first chatting and being pleasant but letting her talk to her dad without you butting in or wanting to feel included. Amazed that it's taken 18 months for your boyfriend to tell his daughter about you. Good luck.