When do the university terms end please, .....

[clumsymum]

Because this is DSD's final year.

I know people will think I'm unreasonable, but dh has paid her maintenance for the last three years, and she hasn't had the common courtesy to contact him at all in that time. She doesn't answer his calls or texts, doesn't respond to his messages, hasn't thanked us for the money we sent her for her 21st.

We have no idea why she has cut us/him out of her life.

She was supposed to let dh know that his former father-in-law had died just before Christmas, she promised her mum she would, but she didn't. ExW was a bit upset he didn't go to the funeral, he would have gone if he had known.
I wondered if she was trying to stir it between them, or if it was simply a 'can't be arsed' thing.

So we have agreed that when she finishes her course, the maintenance will end. We really could do without that expense right now.

But DH is being a bit namby pamby about trying to find out when she finishes. I'm trying to plan when we can afford some house maintenance work.

[ZoeC]

They can vary slightly, the website of the university she is had will probably have term dates on though so I'd check that. Most appear to be around 19th June, but I found at least one that was July.

[clumsymum]

Thanks Zoe, looks like being the 19th June at her seat of learning.

So July's salary might stretch a bit further then.

I'm so sad that she has treated dh as she has tho'.

[JeMeSouviens]

From the child maintenace options website:

With an arrangement using the CSA, child maintenance is paid until the child reaches 16 years old, or until they reach 19 years old if they are in full-time education (not higher than A-level equivalent).

You have been perfectly reasonable and paid a further 2yrs of maintenance past the required. Aside from the contact issues, at her age, it's time for her to support herself.

[clumsymum]

Thanks Mrs Jammi & JeMeSouviens.

I have been very cross for some time over this, but decided that I would not argue with dh about it, I'm not going to let DSD damage our relationship.

Anyway, I did feel that by continuing to support her, we held the moral high ground. She cannot ever come back to us and say (with any justification) that her father "abandoned her" or any such drivel.

It does irk me that we decided not to move away from here when she was younger (which would have been of benefit to dh's career), specifically because it would risk dh losing contact with her, and now she wants nothing to do with him.

I want to do things like get private guitar lessons for ds but money has been a bit tight for such luxuries. I'm going to set about finding a teacher for him now.