Marie1979 Come over here :)

[StercusAccidit]

Thought i would drag you away lol
I understand your posts but on the other thread the OP is looking for help/advice and you need to talk about your own experiences ....

As an experienced thread hijacker i thought i would open one up for you

On the other thread you posted:

like i will say im sorry i just jumped i understand looptheloop but when u have been on the recieving end of a step parent well someone that lived with me its not very nice. my ex used to make my son naughty so i would tell him off and send him to his room and my ex would smile at my son behind my back my ex would call my son names belittle him and call him gay and tell him about things that worry him then laugh at him shout in his face. pick up the remote when my son did and say he was watching someting leave him out all the time my son would spend all day in his room to avoid him and cry himslef to sleep and all my kids looked scared when he walked in the room and loads of other stuff id b here all day i hope people understand why i replied to windmill like i did

Like i said well done for getting rid, i am glad your kids are happier.
I was also a victim of a bad step mother and father.
STF was how you describe.. manipulative, abusive, controlling.
STM was an evil cow and i didn't see my dad for years until they split up and he needed a babysitter for the kids she had left him with.
I can see why you are so angry and protective, and why you jump at the chance to protect other kids from what you perceive to be the same threat.
Make sure its not misplaced though will ya lol

I also now have DSC's, they are aged 6 and 7 and hard work but delightful kids, i find as long as you respect any child you will usually get it back but IMO i am lucky enough to have met my DP while the kids were young which has made things a lot easier.
Some people do not seem to be able to love children that are not blood relatives.
But some people can hence adoptive parents and foster carers and MOST step parents..
Your experience was not unique but it is not the norm either.

Being a step parent is hard because sometimes you have the childs natural parent making you out to be evil, my dad caused a lot of the problems i had with STF when i was younger, usually by passing messages through me to say 'You're not my dad you can't tell me what to do and if you hit me my dad will punch your fat face in' Amongst other such things.
Sometimes the child actively HATES you, feeling that if you weren't there, their parents would be back together and their lives would be happier.
STP's feel undermined sometimes and unable to actively discipline kids that are not theirs.
They may have other children who feel 'put out' by other DC's being treated 'differently' this can cause resentment on all sides.
Hard when you don't see the kids often not to spoil (sort of) them and pay them a lot of attention and resident kids can feel left out.
The list is endless.

Anyway, come here and have a rant about your twatbag ExP lol

[StercusAccidit]

Oh and well done for apologising as well, its one of the hardest things to do when you think/know you're in the right.

[marie1979]

thankyou i didnt mean to sound such a cow but i cant stand people treating kids badly even if their not showing it i do apologise i sometimes let my mouth run off and sometime not in a good way i just cant understand why someone dislikes a child anyway sorry if i seem rude

[marie1979]

thanks ive calmed down now i dont want to bore u with all the details of my ex just that in the end he still didnt see he had done anything wrong arghhh it gets me mad he was blaming my son the two faced twat i would die for my kids they are my world.i can kinda see if their not ur kids it would b hard to love them for some people but all kids what is attention and love its not to hard to understand

[StercusAccidit]

I don't think you sounded like a cow, nor do i reckon most other people on that thread could say that they did either flower, just one of those wrong place wrong time things lol

Sorry didnt reply b4 now, had to go to bed early then been out all day

I have to admit, because of my past experiences, i try harder than i ever thought i would to love and care for kids that aren't mine.
Its hard when they give you lip, its hard when you know their dad won't let me 'interfere' with their upbringing but i do and have stood up for them against him a lot of times, its not me being nasty to them lol its their own parents, they see me as a nice 'aunty' sort of thing. Sometimes, i have to admit to not liking their BEHAVIOUR but i still like them very much.. i believe that is what the OP was trying to say tbh... she likes the kid and makes every effort, but its hard, and although she may like the child she does not like his behaviour or the ipact he has with the other kids, which is understandable.

My mum had no end of rows with my ExSD, i remember him beating her up because we were going on a picnic and she only had three packs of crisps and there were five of us.. he said "Your two won't have any then because my kids aren't going without"

My mum pointed out that she could open all of the packs and put them in a bowl to share.. "No," he said.."There will be less for MY kids"

An argument ensued and he beat her up for sticking up for us.
He would also do other shitty things to get us into trouble.
Every single one of her partners were like that with us. Not one was nice. So i get overprotective too and so there i understand why you reacted the way you did and i don't think bad of you at all.

If you have been a victim of any kind of abuse it makes you want to protect your kids more, indeed ANY child, and i basically salute you for WHAT you said .. just not the time you said it lol.

Take care flower all the best ok xx