What do you do when you feel that no matter how much you support, how much you don't complain or critisise, how much you detach and try not to take it personally, somehow you still always get the blame?
I'm a different person than I was a year ago, the fact that dp's dc hate me upset me so much. I've never been hated in my life, I couldn't handle it... Of course we had arguments, it was hell. So I read the books, I took the advice, I vent here safely if I need to and basically I changed and it really did help.
However AIBU having reached a good place emotionally with all this negativity (which is not my doing), to expect my dp to also grow and start supporting me and our relationship. Does he realise what I've been through, does he care, will he ever change for the better of us, like I have? I've learnt not to complain, not to critisise, but if I feel slightly meh, when his kids ignore my greetings and smiles and how are you's... is it always going to be my fault? Will it ever be 'god, sorry the kids don't greet you, so rude, I'll have a word'. That small sentence from him would take away the negativity from the dsc in an instant... Will it always be 'what's wrong with you, why are you /quiet/distant/angry at me/them?'
Will he ever in front of his kids grab me and kiss me like he does when we're with my kids, or will it always be an apologetic hand hold or peck on the cheek...?
Will he ever after a weekend apart (because his dc don't really want to spend time with us) say 'god, I missed you'. Does he realise when he says, 'we had a great time, absolutely fab' that that hurts me to know it was so fab because we we'ren't around and clearly not even missed.
Feel so slow tonight and maybe I'm kidding myself, feel like I'm carrying this relationship and that he has exactly what he wants when he wants it.
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Gutted, again, it's not the dsc it's him...!
5 replies
shey03 · 31/08/2014 23:27
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