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Step-parenting

Step Mum Bingo II :-)

71 replies

Boomeranggirl · 30/07/2014 18:41

Okay anyone up for a new game of SM bingo? Grin

Eyes down for a full house.

Rules of the game:

Keep it lighthearted, it's suppose to be fun!! Wink

Everyone got their Wine sorted? Okay let's play....!

OP posts:
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SlicedAndDiced · 30/07/2014 18:42

Ooh I'm all out!

Named most of mine in the first thread Grin

Marking my place to see if any good ones come up though!

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Boomeranggirl · 30/07/2014 19:07

Here's one.

One of DHs relatives asked him how his wife was when I was stood right next to him Hmm

That made me feel so welcome, I wouldn't mind but the person who asked was also divorced and remarried with kids from first marriage! Splitter!!!!

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brdgrl · 30/07/2014 20:08

Boomerang, I hope your DH said "I don't know, how are you honey?" and turned to look at you!

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riverboat1 · 30/07/2014 20:15

Boomerang, don't know if this counts as a typical SM bingo thing, but you made me think of something:

DP's dad recently phoned DP's ex to ask her if she thought we (me and DP) were having relationship problems.

His reason for asking? I went on a week's holiday this summer WITHOUT DP and DSS (shock horror), but with my MALE best friend instead. Who is a man, yes, but who is gay (unbenownst to DP's rather homophobic father).

To be fair though, I know that it annoyed DP's ex as much as me that he is phoning her asking this stuff. We had a good giggle about it.

And I do feel slightly gleeful to think that DP's dad is sweating over the thought of me going on holiday with another man without knowing the reason that there is zero chance of that threatening DP's and my relationship...

But still, I am a bit annoyed that he thinks it's appropriate to ask the ex about that. He doesn't have enough trust in DP and my's relationship to believe that of COURSE DP was fine about me going on this holiday. And he didn't speak to either DP or me about it, he just went straight to the ex...

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wheresthelight · 30/07/2014 20:17

The only way that is even remotely excusable is if the other person had never met you but very rude!!

My all time favourite of dp's is "you don't know how hard it is for me always being caught in the middle"

Really?! Ffs grow a pair and parent your goddamn kids then we wouldn't argue about you being a useless ineffectual prat and the kids might actually have some respect for me instead of the contempt they are displaying.

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SlicedAndDiced · 30/07/2014 20:36

On a positive note...

My dsd has just walked in. She looks so grown up today (nearly 12)

It made me go a bit teary eyed.

Bloody pregnancy hormones Grin

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Bahhhhhumbug · 30/07/2014 20:59

Fact: Stepchildren melt if they have to walk more than 100 yds or use public transport so must be given a lift by daddy absolutely everywhere and picked up again. What you and he were doing or the rest of the family is totally irrelevant , so suck it up .

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TheMumsRush · 30/07/2014 22:00

You have no place in their lives, they did not ask for this and you are irrelevant Wink

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shitatusernames · 30/07/2014 22:01

Not a step parent myself, but my husband is to ds1(18)

It's not an easy part of family life at all and after reading alot on here I think you all sound lovely. I will never go on a thread and spout the shite I see spouted about step parents as I tend to disagree with them most of the time and feel sorry for the op.

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riverboat1 · 30/07/2014 22:07

OK, this is off topic but just have to get it out:

I'm rewatching the first episodes of Friends. And the Ross/Susan/Carol/baby situation is TOTALLY ridiculous! This never struck me when I first watched the series as a teen, but now it really annoys me.

Ross and Carol were married. She had an affair and left Ross for Susan. Then she almost immediately discovered she was pregnant with Ross's baby. The way this is presented to Ross is, 'this is mine and Susan's baby, we're going to raise the child, you can be involved if you want, but we're going to give it our surnames, not yours'.

This is presented as totally normal and reasonable, and Ross is made out to be an uptight idiot for feeling at all uncomfortable or upset about it.

What WORLD is this?

It's very nice that they are able to ultimately be so accepting of each other and work together as three equal parents for the child's best interests etc, but just massively rose tinted and COMPLETELY unlikely without any significant strife or heartache. I feel sorry for Ross watching this back.

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brdgrl · 30/07/2014 22:12

Oh god, yes, the entire subplot about Ross's son is horrific. And then when he has his second child later, and it's as though the son (sorry, can't remember the name) never existed...

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brdgrl · 30/07/2014 22:14

shitatusernames, what a nice post.

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Boomeranggirl · 30/07/2014 22:37

shitusernames Thanks Thanks

In my situation, DH got VERY pissed off with the person who said it but managed to hide it well until later on when they got a one-to-one chat that was mostly one way! I didn't find out until weeks later. Turns out other family members heard it too and weren't happy. So it turned out well in the end but I must admit my jaw did drop at the time.

OP posts:
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Kaluki · 05/08/2014 11:39

We must treat them like honoured guests who are waited on hand and foot but at the same time make them feel like it is their home and they have every right to use and abuse it as they see fit.
Basically as long as we make the dsc the centre of the universe and bow and scrape to them and treat them like the gods they are we will all get on just fine!!!
Also we must make sure we thank their mothers for allowing us mere mortals to see their (not DPs) children and treat the mother with the respect her golden uterus deserves!!!

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catsmother · 05/08/2014 13:56

My all time favourite of dp's is "you don't know how hard it is for me always being caught in the middle"

Oh yeah, that sounds familiar. Hmm ..... or its variation "I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place" - which is usually when DP is deciding whether to upset me (his partner of well over a decade) or his ex (who has been an ex for even longer). Thing is, this follows ex demanding something unreasonable and/or being difficult for the sake of it whilst at the same time messing about with contact - inference being that if he doesn't "comply" contact will be affected - so (in his eyes) he doesn't really have a choice. And when, understandably, I object to some spiteful, unnecessary disruption and/or unexpected and unaffordable expense, that's when I get the rock thing trotted out ...

.... at which point I could swing for him because I really really object to being placed on the same level as the bloody ex, the woman who's spiteful and unreasonable all the time. There shouldn't be any contest - and he should be doing what's morally right and fair so far as the whole family's concerned, not doing what he thinks will get him the least "grief". FFS.

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catsmother · 05/08/2014 14:08

Oh Kaluki of course it's their home, how very dare you even so much as hint it's not ..... this will always be their home, for as long as they want it to be blah blah ad infinitum .... but at the same bloody time, of course it's also okay that they get to choose to "opt out" on occasions when our home/their home/whatever isn't so appealing. Like when they get a better offer (regardless of how long ago they "confirmed" arrangements, or how short notice it is when they cancel) or when they get wind that this particular contact occasion might not be as all-singing, all-dancing as befits their expectations given real life has got in the way and we must spend a whole 3 or 4 hours doing something that can't be postponed and might be a little bit boring (shock horror). Then, it's perfectly alright for them to - in effect - reject their "home" - you know, that one which DP is so insistent about - and all the other people in it because clearly, the sort of (boring) things that normally go on in normal homes the vast majority of the time is beneath them - but okay for us obviously.

I have no objection to the stepkids considering this their home - although they don't IMO (it's DP who pushes the concept all the time) - but I do object to DP persisting with this "one big happy home" rubbish when some of the family pick and choose which bits of the home & family they wish to be involved in and he doesn't say a word to them about it. I just hate being "cherry picked". Meanwhile, if a resident child were to whine about being involved in something "boring" on a particular weekend they'll get told - by him - that "life can't be like a party all the time" or "we all have to do stuff we don't like sometimes" - which, in itself, is fine, but the hypocrisy makes me seethe when he's readily accepted a non-res child's excuse to avoid the same thing.

(oops sorry, got carried away with that rant there).

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Alita7 · 06/08/2014 00:37

I think I ran out on the old thread :p but since we've had a thread where a poster was told by one individual that she shouldn't begrudge doing everything for her dsd on viists while her dp almost ignores the child... because she should happily do it for her dsd and again she knew what she was getting into... ummmm really?

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StercusAccidit · 07/08/2014 13:18

I only let the kids come to yours because you buy them clothes shoes and mobile phones

I only let the kids come to yours because SA has nice smelling washing powder Confused

SA you're obviously jealous of my children.
Yes love because a spiteful nasty daughter and a child abusing son who demand things constantly, wreck them five minutes later or sell them to your DP for much less than was paid for them then ask for a replacement from their dad a week later is something i REALLY envy.. Hmm

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FreeSpirit89 · 07/08/2014 17:26

A favourite of mine from DP was when DSD tried pushing DS down the bunk bed stairs, he said "she's only here a few nights a week, I want it to be fun for her, instead of telling her off?"

I exploded on the spot!

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StercusAccidit · 07/08/2014 21:32

Had similar, the worry about telling them off in case it means they don't come again... Disney ticks box

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expectantmum79 · 08/08/2014 07:49

OH's Father told one of his friends that his ex was coming back with their DD when we 'd been together a couple of years and were newly engaged.

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Kaluki · 08/08/2014 08:19

unlike normal children, step children can do no wrong. If they do it is clearly because of the step mum!
Fact: some kids are horrible, rude and spoilt. If you are a parent to such a child you love it unconditionally but other people don't have to!!!

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Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 09/08/2014 09:35

'I don't want anything to do with her because she's nothing to with me'

apart from the fact that she's been married to your father for the past 10 years

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Priesty77 · 09/08/2014 11:13

She can tell my children off and act like their mother in front of me and it's absolutely fine. I have no case to be angry. Ditto all above!

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truthwithin · 09/08/2014 16:56

DP complaining about me buying DS15 a PS4 for Xmas, too much money, doesn't need it.

This coming from a man who is getting a 10yr old an iphone, to go with the other mobiles, tablets & ipods that are never seen again!

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