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Step-parenting

the woman is driving me insane!

9 replies

syllabub1 · 20/07/2014 18:18

So I have been with DH for nearly 5 years, his X has always been a pain in the bum, I try to ignore her but every now and again she just gets to me and today is one of those days.

I really do not know what we need to do to make her happy, nothing we ever do is ever good enough for her and she acts so bloody high and mighty, as though she is this amazing person who does nothing wrong, which is far from the truth.

Apart from the occasional arsey message from her things have been fine recently, we have the children every other weekend Fri-Sun, which is what she wants. The children are happy with us, we generally have a good time when they come.

However, DH's cousin, who is still friends with her on Facebook told me about something she had put on there. I had a nosey and I couldn't believe she was telling the world that her boyfriend is an amazing dad to her kids and that he does so much with them, unlike their 'sperm donor' and that she loves his kids like they were her own and that they would never be left out of holidays, days out and family time the way hers are left out of our family.

I was gobsmacked! it is totally untrue and unjustified.

  1. she's been with her boyfriend for about 8 months and after only 2 months of being with him she moved the kids in with him which meant moving schools.

  2. the kids are not left out of family holidays, we went on a family holiday a couple of years ago with my mum, which she paid for, at the time the X had stopped contact as they had a dispute over finances and she stopped contact as he refused to give her what she wanted, so what were we supposed to do? put all holidays on hold until she allowed contact again?

  3. she has never ever taken the children on holiday or even a night/weekend away somewhere. In the past 12 months we have taken them away 4 times (all short breaks) but there's also a week away during the summer holidays planned.

  4. she says we never do anything with them. However, I feel her idea of 'doing something' and our idea of 'doing something' is different. I think she thinks you have to throw money at them but we enjoy simple things like parks, bike rides, picnics, walks, treasure hunts, going swimming, PLAYING. I'm not sure exactly what she expects us to be doing cos from what the kids tell us they don't do anything more at home.

  5. apparently her kids are left out of family time and family days out? wtf is she on about? does she want us to do nothing whilst the kids aren't here? i can only think of one proper day out without them and that was to the zoo for our DS's 1st birthday last year. They were never told about it so they couldn't get upset or jealous. Should we not do anything on his birthday just because it fell on a tuesday whilst they were in school?

    it's ridiculous and i'm getting so bloody fed up with it all. I can't believe she is telling all her friends and family that we're such terrible parents/step parents. It feels like nothing we ever do will ever be good enough. I wouldn't mind so much if she was the model parent but she's really not.
OP posts:
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mindyourown1 · 20/07/2014 19:06

just block her on FB and don't look. Cousin shouldn't have stirred it up tbh.

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FreeSpirit89 · 20/07/2014 20:33

Just block her and move on. Do you really expect anyone who matters to you to believe it anyway?

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usualsuspectt · 20/07/2014 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuttonCadet · 20/07/2014 20:42

You can't control what she puts on Facebook, no-one who knows you would believe it anyway.

Block her and ignore cousin in future (sounds like a stirrer).

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amigagal · 20/07/2014 21:01

The problem is that you never get to say your piece. You know that what she says is twisted or a flat out lie, but you have no way to tell anyone this. The XW is forever telling anyone who will listen all our "failings", to which I cannot answer. It's a nightmare.

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WanderingAway · 21/07/2014 05:01

It is so hard trying to ignore what is being said. My exh's new wife is always slating me, making it out to everyone that i stopped exh seeing his dd when in fact it was him who just didnt bother with dd.

I have no advice because after years of ignoring it i finally snapped and it didnt resolve the situation. I have no clue what to do next. I can sympathise with you.

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syllabub1 · 21/07/2014 10:25

tbh cousin didn't say it in a stirring way, just she was surprised that we were taking DSC on holiday in August and when I said 'yes of course we are' she said 'oh i just got the impression that you weren't from what their Mum put on Facebook last week'.
Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned it but it didn't come across that she was saying it to stir trouble. Maybe I shouldn't have looked but I was intrigued. The X certainly shouldn't be airing her dirty laundry like that, to me it just demonstrates her total lack of class and dignity.

I don't really care what her chavy friends and family think of me but she is friends still with quite a few members of DH's family and it is frustrating that they might believe her. I make a point of never really mentioning DSC on facebook or putting pics of them up as I feel they're not mine to 'show off' or brag about so maybe to others that would seem that I don't care about them?
I was tempted to comment on her post but that would have made me look like some crazy stalker lady.

I know I just need to care less about what people think, don't I? The people who matter know the truth.

OP posts:
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WanderingAway · 21/07/2014 18:59

Instead of commenting on her lies how about writing on your page something along the lines of 'cant wait for a lovely family holiday with your dc and dsc. It is always great when we are all together.'

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mindyourown1 · 21/07/2014 19:44

and then she will read it and respond

just block her and anyone in her friends list who is not your friend and remain silent. Do not stoop to any level. It will just cause trouble.

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