My 4 year old DSD (will be 5 in December) has visited us alternate weekends for three years ish... We went through a period last year where we ended up in court but we have her from school every other Friday to school the following Monday as well as Wednesday from school until 6.30.
She started full time school last month and since then she just doesn't want to be here with us, she screams and cries for her mum when she gets tired, the last two times DH has allowed her to leave early on the weekend... As she was obviously quite distraught and missed her mummy.
We don't have a good relationship with her mum and I do feel she encourages this behaviour, however I collected DSD from school and she immediately told me "mummy says I have to call her after my tea" I said ok, no problem... Got home, had a play, made tea and she started sobbing "I want my mummy" ok I said finish your tea and you can give her a call... "Mummy says she will come get me after tea" is what I then got called.
DH has been on phone with his ex and she's saying that we should give DSD what she wants to make her happy, and if being happy means being with her mum then we should allow it.
I think we would keep her in her routine and just try deal with it as best we can, she called her mum for a chat and her mum said she would come and get her... We had to say no... After the phone call she was fine, but upon going to bed has gotten upset again.
What do we do? Keep her in routine or give into her?
Her mum has just txt DH saying that if she finds out she was upset all weekend she won't be coming to us again.
I figured it was just the change with school etc that's affecting her, but her mum is basically accusing us of mistreating her or something.
Any opinions would be greatly received.
The only reasons DsD has given for not wanting to be here are:
I have to share with SB here, I don't have to share at mummy's (we have an 11 month old son)
I don't have lots of toys here (she has tons! But never plays with them)
Struggling, as don't want to be seen as horrible.... But don't want her not coming here anymore.
Many thanks
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Help / Opinions required please, 4 year old DSD suddenly very clingy with mother
8 replies
Natanotherone · 11/10/2013 20:18
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