My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice.

Step-parenting

Ex-wife is playing with childrens emotions and educational future

2 replies

wobbleangel · 21/08/2013 18:52

Hello

Its my 1st time on here, so please be gently with me.

I met my husband 10 years ago, his wife left him with two small children. They have always lived with us and we have brought them up to be lovely children.

The problem is ex wife, she is a very controlling person. She is telling son, 16 that he should move in with her and change college etc. She lives 40 miles away.

He has always lived in this area, and she lives miles away. He has been staying with her over summer holidays, the last time he came home, he said she was pressurizing him to move in with her. He said he is scared of upsetting her, but said he wants to stay here.

We have never been on good speaking terms with her, because she is so difficult. We have never stopped her seeing the children, she gets ideas in her head, then after a few weeks gets fed up.

We are scared that if son moves with her, he will mess up his education and social relationships.

No one in family wants to get involved, so I am worried in what to do next!!!!

Does anyone know if there are independent counsellors my son can speak to? So he doesn't feel pressurised into doing something he is not happy about.

We live in South Yorkshire area.

Thanks
Wobbleangel

OP posts:
Report
anna891 · 22/08/2013 12:42

I think all can do is express your fears to him. The ex doesn't sound like a nice person at all and she did leave him at a young age.

My friends son wanted to go and live with his father, she refused to allow it, she knew he would quickly get fed up with the boy. She didn't want him to get hurt. Again.
One day her son accused her of tryng to destroy his relationship with his father called her lots of names etc. In desparation she let him go.
Her fears were right he was back after six weeks, said it had been awful, he never mentioned living with his father again.

I would try my best to talk him out of it, and tell him he does not in any way need to feel guily about saying no. She does not deserve loyalty she has not earnt it.

Report
carben · 22/08/2013 15:45

I would let him make his own decision after lots of discussion about pro's and con's. I would then make sure he knew that whatever happens he always has a home with you and his dad.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.