Can't help getting annoyed

[Soundofraindrops84]

So I've been with dp for 3.5 years and we have a beautiful baby boy together. I have found things quite difficult from the start, dp was in previous relationship which broke down as EXW left for another man (although never admitted) and took their dd with her. Dsd was only 18 months when I met dp and the EXW had her calling the new man daddy from when she started talking! I was so upset for my partner because he was still so much part of dsd life so no need for the EXW to drill that into a toddlers head. Dsd gets confused because of this. I've tried to explain things because clearly her mother hasn't. I wouldn't dream of expecting her to call me mummy. Anyway dp was dropping dsd off yesterday and the EXW turns round and says to dsd , "go and see your dad, he is in the living room" dp just ignored it as clearly she was looking for a rise! But seriously, what is that all about?! She's twisted!! Sorry just need a rant and to hear other views on this.

[exoticfruits]

Ignore her- it is all you can do. Build up your own relationships- DSD will understand in time. Never get drawn in- don't play the game- just be yourselves.

[Soundofraindrops84]

Thank you. Yeah we ignore it but just goes to show the type of person the woman is! It's the thought of having to even have anything to do with her makes me cringe. Grrr

[BeckyBrandon]

As Exotic said - Don't play the game. I wouldn't even explain to her, that is your DPs job.

I'm in exactly the same kind of situation, but my DD is 10 and DSd is 12, so they're older.

It gets easier to ignore the games.. I've found it so hard because I'm not one to shy away and not say anything, and I don't suffer fools. but I've had to learn to button it. At times it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

[Soundofraindrops84]

Yeah becky I agree it's so difficult, I've been close to giving up a few times as don't know how to deal with it. I just feel like going round and slapping some sense in to her sometimes. How did u learn to ignore, do u have contact with dps ex at all or do u just stay out of it?

[matana]

Oh god yes, this happened to us too. We just politely corrected DSDs when they were at ours. In time they got to understand that while at our house at least DH was daddy, ExW's DH was Andy. Always hurtful and irritating to hear it from the ExW (who has also said "go and see daddy while poor DH stood at her front door) but she won't change so no point arguing. It is an utter disgrace, i agree, and also a bit weird when the real dad is still very much a part of their lives. But i wouldn't make too big a deal of it. Our approach seems to have worked and they auto correct now. Hasn't done DSD any damage, she just realises that different houses have different rules. She's 13 though so understands much more generally and has lived with this situation for 10 years.