Paying "keep" if you're a non resident child

(77 Posts)
theredhen Fri 14-Jun-13 17:22:54

What do people do once step children are out at work but only live with you part of the time?

We have two resident children who I want to pay some keep to us when they start work. However we also have non resident children, the eldest being 17 years old who still abides by the contact rota as she always has done with no sign of any change. I fully expect her to adhere to it if and when she starts a full time job. I also am sure that her mum will expect keep to be paid at hers. Not sure what she would do about her daughter who lives with us.

So, what to do? Should we charge her a pro rata rate? That seems the fairest option to me. I think not asking for keep will just send her the message that she's a "visitor" and not part of the family.

Petal02 Wed 19-Jun-13 19:38:17

I'm not sure Redhen. DH is working away this week, there's been a problem on the contract, he was supposed to be back tonight but won't be back til Friday now. We had arranged to have DSS on Thursday and Friday nights. So DSS wants to come on Fri and Sat nights instead, but we've already got plans for Sat night.

Sometimes you just get weeks when everyone's time is squeezed, and it's hard to ring fence a specific allocation of ttime for DSS - the rest of us get less of DH this week, but DSS can never be told he'll get a smaller slice of the pie on this occasion.

I did suggest offering him an extra night next week, but DH's mum goes into hospital and its hard to make any commitments for next week, we'll just have to see how thing pan out. DH doesn't want to offer him a night next week which may get cancelled, that would mean two lost nights in two weeks.

Funnily enough, I would 't be too upset if we had to cancel our Saturday plans (although the principle drives me up the wall) but DH was really looking forward to it, and after the week he's had - and the week he's potentially got next week - a night out would do him good.

But as one of my friends has just pointed out: if he wants to be a martyr ......

Petal02 Wed 19-Jun-13 19:58:21

Anyway, apologies for the thread hijack, I'm going to wash up before The Apprentice starts!!!

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