I'm after a bit of perspective as I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post but it's part a step issue so I'll go with here.
I am a step parent to my DP's DD but this isn't about anything there. It's actually to do with my own DD.
I have 3 DC. Two with an ex and one with DP. DP has been in the older DC lives for 10 years. Older DC are 15 and 11.
Their father is pretty much crap. He's very inconsistent with seeing them and when he agrees to lets them down as he has other things planned. For example: they last saw him at Christmas. He phones occasionally but only to cause problems or to upset them.
Another example: He phoned to let the kids know he married his now wife a few weeks back but didn't invite the kids because he thought they wouldn't be interested and because they call ex's daughter their half sister. (Before anyone says anything there - I know it's wrong and I do correct them but it makes no difference in their minds because they don't have a regular relationship with her.)
DP, his wife and their daughter are all off to Disneyland Paris. DD (15) wasn't invited because they thought she'd be too old to go. DS (11) was, but only if DP and I paid half because ex says he's half my responsibility.
Now here's my problem. DD says she wants nothing more to do with dad because he treats her like something under her shoe. She's gone so depressed and hardly eating because of how he treats her. She said she wished that she was youngest DS because at least he has a father who cares. She's wants to take DP's surname.
She's started calling dad by his name.
I'm really stuck at what to do. Do I go along with her wishes? I mean ex would drive it through the courts I'm guessing but he's really affecting her.
I'm well aware this may be the wrong place but I'm after advice from step parents. Have any of you gone through anything similar with a child wanting to ignore their biological parent in favour of the step parent? I have no idea how to deal with this.
DP has said he'd be happy to adopt DD as his own as he classes her as his own anyway.
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A bit of perspective please - long sorry!
10 replies
AGivenNickname · 23/04/2013 13:30
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
23/04/2013 13:40
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