DP and I have been together for almost 2 years. He has 3 DCs (8, 4, 2) who are with us almost 50% of the time. I have no DCs. We both owned houses when we met but decided to sell and buy together so neither of us felt we were living in the other's house (I put far more into our house than DP was able to, but I insist that it's our house, and the door is open for DP to up his share in the future).
I earn much more than DP. Moreover, as DP's self-employed, he never knows what'll be coming in in any given month. I knew that when I moved in with him.
We have our own accounts plus a joint account, into which I pay more (standing order) than DP (who drips into it when he can). I'm happy that we both contribute what we can, but the drip-payment system is frustrating as it means I never know if there's enough money in the account; I often find out at the supermarket check-out when the card's refused, so I end up having to use my own account anyway.
I'm not happy with the set-up as I think we need to go further and pool the lot - either we run a joint household or we don't. DP's against as I'd contribute far more, and there's only me, whilst he'd pay much less and there are 3 children in tow. On top of that, he pays child support to his ex and he says he can't imagine paying that from a joint account as it's his responsibility, not mine. I say that whilst I wouldn't pay it for him from my own account, I'm perfectly happy for it to go from the joint account. In a bad month, DP 'can't afford' things which are actually essential, a recent example being new tyres (whereas in a good month he can earn more than I do) - I think it's bonkers that he can't afford things when the household has enough money. We're getting married this summer, and I think I'd find it odd to be married but have the almost completely separate finances we have now (even if merging our finances makes me 'poorer').
I see where my DP is coming from and I really appreciate that this is his attitude, rather than taking it all for granted, but I think he takes it a bit far.
We're tossing different ideas around and I'm just curious to know how other blended families manage their finances. I don't so much want advice as for others to share a few details about how you deal with it. There are bound to be solutions out there that we haven't even thought of yet...
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Blended families - how do you organize finances?
12 replies
Morien · 10/04/2013 15:27
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