Been with my partner for a couple of years now, he was single when I met him, ExW left for another man 8yrs ago. He has a daughter aged 16 who I tried to get to know and be friendly towards until last summer when I MC'd our baby.
He announced the pregnancy to his daughter at 6wks as he wanted her to be one of the first to know. I wanted to wait until 12 but he talked me round. I had unlimited shit thrown at me from his daughter, the ex and her family, I developed high BP and lost the baby 2 wks later. It may have happened anyway but they stopped harassing me after that and if they felt guilty, good!! I accept that at my age (early 40s) it may not happen again and I'm pretty sure I don't want it to anyway, given the circumstances.
There have been several incidents since of her 'pulling rank' over me. I don't want to be a bitch and itemise every detail, but basically any way possible that makes him choose her over me or ruining our plans.
I have never been nasty to the girl (although I fantasise about screaming at her to tell her how spoiled and entitled she is) and have chosen to completely disengage when she is around.
My partner refuses to confront her on her behaviour (she is never nasty to my face but he tells me what she says and does, as do other people.) He is angry for me for no longer interacting with her above a polite hello and goodbye.
TBH I love him but see no other option but to get out. I don't expect to be more important than his daughter but I should have a voice in the house we share.
Family holiday looming (with his parents and siblings, who I really get on well with but his daughter too.) I really can't handle a week away with someone who resents my living and breathing. What should I do?
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Step-parenting
DP's anger at my disengagement
34 replies
fackinell · 06/04/2013 22:19
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