DSS is 16. He has been smoking (and drinking) for a while as well as having a lot of problems at home and school with regard to getting very drunk and out of control and being violent/punching walls. He is involved in a rather negative group of friends. He has asthma, so obviously his smoking is a health concern, but his Mum has asthma and smokes in the house and gives him money for cigarettes, although he buys tobacco and makes roll ups.
I absolutely hate smoking with a passion. DH is an ex smoker and hates it too. My Mum is going to die due to lifelong smoking, although she has given up now, but she can barely breathe and has COPD (I think this is a form of emphasema)
So, DSS has been staying and we have made it clear to him that smoking in the house is absolutely not allowed under any circumstances. We have other DC in the house, including a toddler and I am pregnant. We have also made it pretty clear to him that we don't agree with him smoking and pointed out the potential health risks to him and others if he is around them while or after smoking, particularly when the baby is born. His clothes still smell of smoke even after being washed.
However, I could smell smoke when I went upstairs last night and asked if he had been smoking. He denied it. DH took him out this morning before he had to go home and asked him and he denied it. However, DH has found a filter dropped in the bedroom, ash on the windowsill and cigarette butts in the front garden, where the window opens to.
DH rang DSS's Mum and she just said 'he lies about everything'.
I don't want to alienate DSS, but I absolutely do not want any smoking in the house. I also feel sad that he has lied to us and felt he had to.
Any ideas on how to deal with it? DH is so cross he wants to ban him from the house, but I feel that's not an option and not fair or helpful either.
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Stepson smoking in the house
10 replies
midori1999 · 03/04/2013 13:41
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