Hi All,
Quite new to all this, so please bare with me.
Am after some honest feedback from both step mums and mums.
I am pregnant with my first baby due in March. My DH and I have 50 / 50 shared access with DH's ex to their daughter who is 6.
This works out pretty well and the relationship (ex's) is mostly amicable as they put their daughter first.
We often have DH's daughter more than the allocated 50% due to (ex wife's) work commitments, which is fine as we get to spend more time with her especially with the new one on the way (want her as involved as possible so she doesn't feel pushed out etc..).
However, there are some dates around my due date which we have been asked to have DS (these are 'additional). We have said yes, however with the caveat that there is organised 'back up' should I go into labour. 1 )For the obvious reason, want my DH there, and 2) As we want to keep things as calm and stress free for DH's daughter as possible.
At least if we can tell her that she may be going to x she will be (hopefully) more assured. We can then get on and introduce her to her baby brother or sister and resume the usual routine, keeping things 'normal'.
The problem is my DH's ex has said that she is not able to help with cover and that we will have to 'see what happens'. This frustrates me on so many levels. The fact that she is willing to let her daughter (potentially) have nowhere planned to go when it happens. The fact that she is local to our town, has a aunties and friends nearby (DH and I don't - no family near, and friends that don't have children or know DH's daughter enough for her to feel comfortable), and if I'm being really honest that we are covering or her (as we often do).
Personally, I don't think it's unreasonable to have an action plan, in fact it's a must!
I can kind of see the ' your baby, your problem' argument, NOT that that has been said openly. However, cannot understand why she would be willing to risk her daughter having nowhere to go or being left with a virtual stranger.
Arrgghhh!! feel better now.....
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Step-parenting
AIBU - Cover for when I go into labour
35 replies
Frates · 15/01/2013 14:07
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