Hi all, just to explain I have a DSS who is 6.10, I live with my DH (his dad) and we are expecting a baby in 7 weeks. DSS spends every weekend with us and normally lives with his mum and her fiancé. We all have a great relationship, i.e. spend lots of time all together and everything is always very amicable. DSS is an only child and DH and his ex split just after DSS 1st birthday so DSS doesn't remember DH and his mum being together.
Anyway, since we announced my pregnancy, DH's ex and her fiancé have been 100% positive and supportive and DSS has been excited all the way through, until the last few weeks. He's been asking for a brother/sister for years. He's always been exceptionally polite and kind and works well in the routines we have established at both houses. However recently he's started getting tearful when he leaves his mum's house ad telling us he doesn't want to stay for 2 nights, just one. He's also asking to ring his mum constantly - he's called her 3 times since we brought him home yesterday evening.
It turns out that last week he threw a really big strop at the dinner table (with his mum and her fiancé) and said that he hated his stepdad and just wanted his mum and dad to live together. His behaviour has got a lot worse recently and DH, exW's fiancé and I have all been maintaining the boundaries but making sure we really praise good behaviour whereas exW has been getting the brunt of the back chatting and disobeying/refusing etc and (has herself said) that she doesn't know what to do and is so worried about hurting him that she's not telling him off for it at all. We all spoke about it last night and without prompting, she said she felt that she needed to do the same as us 3 so hopefully things will improve on that front.
I just feel so sad because no matter how much we reassure him, I feel that the new baby is really worrying him. He's regressed into watching baby TV programmes and playing with baby toys. DH, exW and DSS all had a 'family meeting' yesterday where they allowed DSS to ask them anything about the situation. However since then, DSS seems to feel that it has opened the floodgates to moan about everything he feels is unfair in his life, i.e. his mum not playing with him 24/7 and having to do household chores instead and the fact he doesn't have a nighttime drink (we're trying to get him dry overnight). He has changed from the mature, happy 6year old who enjoyed spending time with us to a babyish, clingy boy who seems to resent spending one with us and only wants his mum. I feel like I'm part of the cause of this and have messed up his life by getting pregnant. Help!!
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Heartbroken about DSS behaviour - long, sorry!
35 replies
spg1983 · 12/01/2013 09:04
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