Bedrooms :(

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

Me and OH have a DS aged 2 and he has a DD aged 7. We're also expecting our second DS who is due in March. His daughter stays with us 4 nights one week and 3 nights the next week. So she is very much as resident here as she is at her mum's.

We live in a 2 bed property that is rented to us from the council, I work full time and partner was unfortunately made redundant a couple of months ago. DS2 wasn't planned.

We moved in to this house back in August after private renting another 2 bed house that was a bit of a dive. This is a lovely house, very spacious for a 2 bed house and in a nice area. We've also paid a lot in to decorating and carpets etc... and made a real effort to make it a nice family home. Everything is good, apart from the bedroom problem.

At the moment DS and DSD share the big bedroom and all is good. I am really concerned though as in a couple of years both of the boys will be in that room and their sister will get to the point where she will not want to share with two little boys, and she might not want to come anymore. I also really really want my boys to have a "boys bedroom" and for her to have a "girls bedroom" so to speak.

The only way to combat this is to move in to a 3 bed private rented house. Private renting is a big no no to me though as most of the time you can't do anything with the house, it's more expensive and if you are really unlucky get a landlord who basically doesn't give a crap. A mortgage is off the cards as well as financially it is impossible.

Has anyone got any advice on this situation?

[Beamur]

Would you be able to apply for a bigger Council house?
My GP gave up their own bedroom when they had kid to allow for a 'boys' and 'girls' bedroom. I'm not suggesting that all the time - but if you had a sofa bed, you could make that someones bedroom for the nights your DSD is with you?

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

That's a really good idea Beamur. Do you think it's a good idea to decorate our room for DSD and we sleep in there the nights she isn't here, and then sleep downstairs when she is?

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

And about the council giving us a 3 bed house, I thought we wouldn't be entitled as we have 2 boys and "officially", DSD isn't classed as living with us.

[Beamur]

You could do that - but would you be happy with that decor for you own use? What about something more neutral, and then change the look with different bedding - so it would still feel like a 'grown up' room when you are in there. Personally, I think it would probably work better if you slept on the sofa bed as you're likely to have a later bedtime. But it's quite a big ask - so if you're happy with that, good for you.

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

Yeah I mean our bedroom is pretty neutral at the moment anyway, so that idea really could work. For now everything is okay as it is, but in a year or two that would be something for me and OH to really consider doing. Thankyou :)

[LemonBreeland]

You should be eligible for a 3 bedroom council house. Your dsd is resident 50% of the time. I've seen people get larger houses for less visits. It may not be easy depending on availability of properties in your area though, so someof the other ideas may be helpful in the short term.

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

Lemon I am going to give them a call on Monday and see what their rules are and things like that. Once I'm more clued up on the situation I'll feel a bit better lol.

[akaemmafrost]

Not exactly the same but I have a ds and a dd both with ASD. They need their own space so I gave them a bedroom each and got a really decent bed sofa from Ikea. It's fine. Sometimes I think it would be lovely to have a room to retreat to and when I am ill it's not much fun but at least you'll have some nights where you can use that room.

You sound lovely and thoughtful towards your DSD .

[purpleroses]

Some councils will consider you for a 3 bed home with a 50% child but others won't. Even if they do you might just end up on a waiting list though. My ex is in a 1 bed flat with DW, 1yo DS and has my 2 DCs 2 nights a week. On the list for 2 bed but nothing in over a year. My DCs are OK about going though still. High sleepers are good to create a bit of private space. Or could you use the smaller bedroom as DSD's room/study/living room and make the living room your bedroom?

[PoppyPrincess]

Is it possible to partition the larger bedroom? We live in a 2 bed ex council house and the bedrooms are really big, some people have already split them to create more rooms.
If you're planning on staying in the house you could look at the possibility of going up in to the loft, it isn't a cheap option but its something that you could consider down the line, especially if you plan to eventually buy it.
The sofa bed is a good idea, I think we may end up doing that as currently baby is in our room but once she goes in to the kid's bedroom there won't be room for the DSC but they are only here one night every weekend so it's much more do-able than 3 or 4 nights per week.

[bearymerrychristmas]

I think many councils now have realized that they are providing 2 families with an extra bedroom for one child who lives 50% of the time (or there about) in each house. Where we are the local council with only consider a child as an occupant if the child benefit is registered there. So separated mum and dad cannot both get and extra bedroom.

In your case i would let them share a little longer. Wait til your baby is born and ready to go in his own room. Then change your bedroom into DSD's bedroom and give her a double bed. Buy yourself a sofa bed or a good quality inflatable bed. On the nights she stays you sleep on the sofabed and the nights she isn't there you can have her double bed in her room.

[sausagesandwich34]

is there no option to partition off the bigger bedroom if it is a good sized room?

I know a couple of families that have done this due to the shortage of 3 bed houses and it's worked well for them

[Squiglettsmummy2bx]

I have a dd10 & 2ds 7 & 10 months. We have 2 bedrooms & have just decorated the smaller for DD & put all her stuff in but my double bed is in there as I co sleep with DS. Big room deserted for the boys but bunk bed so DD & DS can sleep in there. When I stop bf I will prob put both boys in 1, DD in other & have a sofa bed. I'm entitled to 3 bed but there are none so making the best of what we have, I love my flat

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

We only have 2 bedrooms so DSD 14 and DSS 9 share a room when they are here.

Its a big room so we have the option to partition it off but neither of them are keen to have smaller space so we currently have a high sleeper for dss and dsd's bed goes under it at an L shape her head is under the bed we have put a curtain round the bottom of the high sleeper and round dsd's bed and she has a sort of cozy den under there with a beanbag, bedside table and storage shelf, also gives her some privacy.

It leaves enough space for dss to be able to play.

Under the bed is decorated with fluffy lights and girlie cushions and a red rug, at highsleeper height the wall is green and the rest of the room is neutral.

It works well for us but the sofa bed idea sounds like it could work.

We rent privately and can't afford to move to a 3 bed but would divide the room using a curtain or wardrobes if needed