I have a 14 year old DSD who up until now has split her time 50/50 between us and her mum. We live very close so it's practical for her to go to either house from school.
Over the past year she has started to have boyfriends and want to go out in the evenings. DH and I established ground rules for going out eg only certain nights and provided she had finished all homework. We also put in place rules for her safety eg we need to know; where she is, who with, phone number and address for her friend's house etc. She has always protested against some of these saying they are too strict and her mum doesn't make her give phone numbers.
In the end DH had a long discussion with exDW and DSD during which they all agreed rules. Since then exDW has not upheld any of the agreed rules and DSD has now said she only wants to see us once a fortnight.
This is not the first time disagreements like this have happened and DH has said he now wants nothing more to do with any of it. He says she can do what she wants because if he continues to stick to the agreed rules she will stop coming at all. I am inclined to agree because it has just completely worn us down trying to create some boundaries for DSD which just keep being torn down and undermined. On the other hand a big part of me is saying we should uphold our beliefs in our parenting skills for DSD's sake as much as anything so that at least we know she is safe when she's with us.
We're stuck for a solution to this problem. What would you do?
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Step-parenting
Conflict of parenting standards.....WWYD?
21 replies
Natmu · 16/12/2012 21:48
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