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Step-parenting

Demanding DSD wants an Iphone for Xmas how to deal?

19 replies

taxiforme · 06/12/2012 17:31

DSD2 (15) wants an iphone for xmas.

DSD1 (17) has just got one, second hand which she bought with her hard earned money she had saved.

DSD2 was given an Ipod touch for her birthday THREE weeks ago.

DH is thinking of giving in to her! All her friends have got one and all that bo**ocks.

How do I talk sense into DH? I have tried telling him to just say no.

DH has told me that "she went into a lather" when he told her that I had bought her xmas presents already - as obviously I have not bought her an Iphone.

I have told him that if she wants an Iphone she has to pay the difference herself for the contract she is on which we pay for (with a perfectly good free upgrade phone) UP front and contribute to the insurance. Went down like a lead balloon.

What happened to the Christmas spirit eh?

OP posts:

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ladydeedy · 06/12/2012 18:53

She is a selfish young woman. I wouldnt even enter into any discussion about it. Presents are already organised from you and DH, not negotiable.
If she wants one perhaps her mother can sort it out? Or she saves up herself?

Theas18 · 06/12/2012 18:54

no is a complete sentence!

Startail · 06/12/2012 19:10

I got an iphone for my birthday and Christmas (and given it's a 24 month contract my birthday and Christmas next year too), only because DH no longer has a company phone and has pinched my old one.

I'm 45 so tell her she can have one in 30 years.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 06/12/2012 19:14

it's a tough one. i agree with you but i'm think your DH will have the say over it as she is his DD. i think she sounds very greedy.

allnewtaketwo · 06/12/2012 20:18

She sounds spoiled. Giving into her on this would just feed her greed. Where would it end if he just gives in all the time.

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions · 06/12/2012 20:23

N O spells NO!!,

I wouldn't give in either.

purpleroses · 06/12/2012 21:00

Perfectly normal behaviour for a 15 year old to want an iphone for Christmas. What is not reasonable is your DH suggesting that she might get one! A iphone does nothing that an ipid touch tousen't except make calls - and I presume she has a phone for that. Can your DP not appreciate a need to keep things fair between the two DDs?

taxiforme · 07/12/2012 00:05

Thanks, I am going to head it off at the pass this weekend. Good point about the ipod touch which i maybe havent stressed enough.

OP posts:

HollaAtMeSanta · 07/12/2012 01:41

I think you can make calls on an ipod touch if you put Skype on it, and there are apps for texting too. Might be wrong, but you could Google it...

purpleroses · 07/12/2012 10:43

Yes you can use skype to call from an ipod touch or various instand messaging systems. Only limitation is that you and the person you're calling need to be on wifi.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius · 07/12/2012 11:57

My 15-year-old ds3 wants an iPhone, but he has a paper round and he is considering either asking us to contribute towards the phone as his christmas present from us, and making up the difference from his paper round earnings, or buying a second hand one from a friend who is getting the iPhone5 for christmas. A couple of years ago, he really wanted an iPod touch, and did exactly the same thing - we contributed what we were spending on them for christmas, and he made up the difference and paid for the insurance too (mainly because we know he is a careless blighter).

Your dsd has to learn that she cannot have everything she wants, just by demanding it. I suspect that your dh is unwilling to do anything that gets her upset or 'in a lather' because he is already feeling unhappy about the effects of the marriage splitting up (I am assuming he was married to her mum/in a relationship with her, and that broke up for whatever reason), and doesn't want to upset her any more. But sometimes parenting is making the tough decisions, and saying or doing things that don't make your child happy. Maybe he needs to think up some options for ways in which she could get an iPhone - getting a saturday job and saving up, for example.

Kaluki · 07/12/2012 12:10

Typical - that is exactly what my DP is like!
My DS is 13 and has a birthday over Christmas. He wants to save up all his birthday/Christmas money and add his bit of pocket money he has saved to buy an Ipod or a tablet thingy. I think this is fine and I am proud of him for saving up.
DP's concern is how DSS (11) will feel when my DS gets it. He has considered buying DS one for Christmas (on top of everything else we have already bought him) so he doesn't feel left out.
WTF?
DSS will have to learn that he is not entitled to everything DS1 has.
Same for your DSD - just because her sister has one doesn't mean she is entitled to the same.

taxiforme · 07/12/2012 23:55

kaluki tbh I think you have nailed what is going on here!!

OP posts:

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius · 08/12/2012 19:31

T-mobile are doing an iPhone on a contract - £25 per month, and £50 for the phone. If she was going to pay the monthly costs, £50 for the phone could put it within the reasonable price bracket.

PoppyPrincess · 09/12/2012 00:00

I think the £25 contract is on the iPhone 4 and apparently everyone has ran out.
It would definitely be a ''no'' from me.
I'm going to sound like a right old biddy now (I'm only 31) but...this is what is wrong with the youth of today, they seem to think that the world owes them a living, a 50 inch plasma and an iPhone.
I have an iPhone and used to have an iPod touch, they are practically the same. If she wants an iPhone tell her to sell the iPod touch and use all the Xmas money she gets off aunts and uncles etc to get her iPhone.

ProbablyJustGas · 11/12/2012 00:08

You could get her this.

Wonder how Dad's older daughter would feel, knowing she had to save for her iPhone while little sister wants, therefore, she gets. The unfairness isn't in the personal access to gadgets. What isn't fair is making one child work for something, but not the other.

Spoken as an older sister.

MaxPepsi · 12/12/2012 15:49

My DSD requested an Iphone for xmas along with several other very expensive items and said we could choose what we got her, she didn't mind.

She was told in no uncertain terms to come back with sensible suggestions.

Thankfully though me and DH are on the same page. A few years ago he would have done disney dad though and worked himself into the ground to get her it.

NotActuallyAMum · 13/12/2012 12:39

I'd like an iPhone, can your DH buy me one too please

Seriously, if he gives in to her on this it'll be the start of a very long, impossible road

HungryHippo89 · 13/12/2012 12:56

Haha ... My DSD asked us for an iPhone for Christmas ... AND SHE'S 7 ... She also came out with the line of "Well my Friend has one" ... Christ what is wrong with some parents these days .. a mobile phone at 7 ... never mind an iPhone ... DSD got laughed at hysterically by DP and myself ... With an answer of .. Maybe when you are older and you can remember your things (currently she can't even remember where she put down her favourite teddy ...)

However on a more serious note ... 15 is an acceptable age to have a phone ... I would 100% say to no to her being just given it ... I would make her sell her iPod Touch ... and then possibly put any extra towards it ... Also if you go down this route .. have a look for Refurbished ones as they will come with some sort of warrenty as well ....

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