Just twigged why Dss has become so grumpy and foul, need to vent!

(28 Posts)

I've posted about the thorny issue of secondary schools before, in brief, we are in catchment for 2 good schools, one of which Dss wants to go to. We live 100 yards from the primary. XW lives 3+ miles away, her choice, and is in catchment for one school, the academy, which is still living up to it's crap reputation. A while ago we suggested changing the child benefit over to dp's name so he could get into the local school, in our situation CB is the decider. She refused.

Now I've just twigged the reason Dss is being a grumpy,stroppy little sod, instead of his usual cheerful self. He is being hothoused for the 11+, evidently his mum has decided it is the solution to the problem. Dss is a plodder, and not grammer material. That's not me putting him down, he's just a sporty little boy, bright, but not esp academic. Apparently she tried this with Dsd, when dsd was that age, and dp stepped in, but of course that's not possible now they are divorced.

I'm bloody angry. We presented a solution on a plate, it would have been a paperwork change, that's all. Both parents work FT, the cb goes into a separate account to pay Dss' expenses, eg trampolining club, cubs. And instead she has to give him all this stress and pressure, unnecessarily. And because we are the safer secure option, he takes it out on us. <silent scream>

Lookingatclouds Wed 05-Dec-12 10:15:45

Eh? If this is for real, you are seriously overstepping the mark. I would be livid if I were their mum, in fact I'd be livid if I were your dp and had received an email like that.

ArkadyRose Wed 05-Dec-12 10:47:53

You seriously need to back the hell away. This is not your business. No wonder the poor kid's grumpy if you're shoving your oar in and trying to push everyone around like this. Time you pulled your nose out and kept it to yourself, unless you want your DSS to turn around when he's a teen and tell you how much he hates and resents you for always getting in the way - which is exactly what happened to my eldest two's pushy stepmother who didn't know when to back the hell out of things which weren't her business either.

prettyfly1 Thu 06-Dec-12 12:04:44

I am actually really gobsmacked - and I say that as the stepwitch of a very very grumpy ten year old. If I was this childs mum and you had so deliberately disagreed with my parenting choices and flagrantly manipulated him into disagreeing with me on my choices so he could do what YOU wanted, he would NOT. BE. SEEING. YOU. ANY. MORE. Seriously what on earth do you think you are doing? You have no right, none whatsoever to intefere and disrespect her in that way. I despise my partners ex and rarely agree with what she does but I never, never intefere and certainly wouldnt presume to deliberately form a coalition against her. You seriously need to back the heck off this child and his mother - for goodness sake she is trying to get him into a good school and showing concern for his education not selling him crack and feeding him a daily diet of nuggetts and lard - how dare you railroad a caring parent by deciding her child isnt clever enough. Blood boiling on the part of a resident parent is not something I often feel on this board but it really is. angry

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