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Step-parenting

How soon into the relationship did you meet his children?

6 replies

InterstateSally · 25/11/2012 11:20

Especially older teens?

My boyfriend is reluctant to let me meet his kids who are 15 and 17 years old and I can't even post anything on facebook because of it. There is a lovely pic of me and him that was taken in a nightclub (professional pic) and I want to have it as my profile picture but I can't. It's ridiculous. There is nothing on Facebook that indicates I'm in a relationship or even know him other than him being on my friend's list.

OP posts:
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elliebellys · 25/11/2012 13:37

Sally if ur not happy,just dump him fgs.loads of posters have offered advice,your not listen in at all.why loads of posts..?

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purpleroses · 25/11/2012 13:55

Meeting them, maybe needs to wait until he's ready. But absolutely no reason why he shouldn't have told them about your existance, and be OK about photos being seen. I'd be a bit suspect if someone seemed to want to keep me secret from their family for any length of time.

How long have you been with him?

To answer your question - DP's eldest was 13 when I met her. We'd been together around 3 months at the time, but they knew about me for a good few weeks before then.

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PoppyPrincess · 26/11/2012 14:13

It doesn't make sense to me?? If you're not friends with his kids on fb then how would they even see your profile pic? I doubt that they sit trawling through their dad's friends lists to see it.

Makes me wonder whether it's a sign that he's just not that committed to the relationship?

When I first met DP he'd not been separated from XP for that long and was quite reluctant to let me be involved with the kids, even after months together. I met them but he didn't really get me involved and always made plans without me. It upset me and caused arguments. We ended up splitting up but we stayed friends. 6 months later we gave things another go and things were completely different, he was different. The difference was that he really wanted to be in a relationship the second time round, the first time he had his doubts and wasn't ready for it.
You can't push somebody in to something if they don't want it. If he doesn't want a serious relationship or doesn't want you to be involved with his kids then that's his choice and from my experience the more you push it the more he'll back off.

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Kaluki · 27/11/2012 06:47

I met them after a few weeks but as daddy's friend.
I thought it was a bit soon but DP was adamant that he wanted me to meet them because be was serious about us from the start.
If your bf is reluctant then maybe he's not that committed to your relationship.

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LtEveDallas · 27/11/2012 06:52

I met DSD after about 6 months, but only as a friend. She got used to seeing me around as one of her dads mates, that didn't mind taking her to the loo etc.

We became a 'couple' after about a year (actually 'came out' after DSD mum had introduced her boyfriend to DSD). It was easier for DSD to accept us than it was her mums boyfriend, and I think that was because of the 'mates' thing.

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Morien · 27/11/2012 21:43

After 6 weeks or so. I was worried about my future relationship with them as I feared it might turn out like the relationship I had with my SF, and DP felt it was better if we got on with it rather than put it off.

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