I need some wise words if any of you have time. I'm really scared that me and dh are on the way to splitting up and underpinning it is my growing resentment of his ex dp and dare I say it, possibly, his 2 dc. We have been together for 4 years and married for 2. I have an 11 yo ds from previous relationship and we have an 18 mo ds. I have 2 dsc (girl and boy) and they live with us 50% of time. To be honest I'm knackered and low: I work in a stressful job (3 days pw); ds2 is a dreadful sleeper and has always been quite demanding (though gorgeous and funny with it); ds1 is a stroppy pre-teen and is also trying to deal with the fall-out of his real dad moving abroad (so he too can be a handful). Meanwhile, dh has chronic back pain and tends to be grumpy and morose 90% of time (problem is I'm not sure if it's his back or me that makes him miserable). Dsc are great, I adore my dsd and am really fond of dss (though more complex relationship as ds1 and him argue).
Despite the fact that I love my step-children, I feel so resentful and jealous of the freedom their mum has (ie half the week to do as she chooses) whilst I have a massive family for half the week (4 kids) with all the extras that entails (endless washing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, refereeing between arguments etc). We never go out together and our lives revolve around the kids really. Problem is that dh will NOT hear a word against ex dp, so I feel like I'm just a bitter cow. Tonight i suggested (meanly probably) that she could do the kids (my dsc) washing as I was sick of putting three loads on per day; dh was scornful of me, like I'm the evil step mum, when in fact I'm so sad, tired and lonely.
Last week dh and i had a massive argument because kids' mum had witnessed an argument between my ds1 and dss on skype (she was on holiday in las Vegas) and had then bollocked my son and blamed it on him (ie dss was the wronged, innocent one). I was livid as I care for her dc fairly and squarely and treat all the kids the same when they are here. The fall out has been that I am now feeling resentful (don't want to do their washing for example) and I know am being immature - it's not the kids fault but i just wish their dad would support me! Problem is they are not just ex's but business partners...
Sorry. Rant. I'm not sure what I want to hear.
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Step-parenting
So resentful of dh's ex
16 replies
Slipslidingaway · 19/11/2012 20:20
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