teen hates partner...help

[jackie1234]

We have recently been through a bereavement - our mother (1yr ago) and my teenager (sister) hates my partner, and is rude to him to the point of embarrassment. She resents me spending time with him and I cant even have him in the house because I know it will lead to arguments. My teen wants me to choose between them and this is impossible and I dont think i should have to. My teen has a boyfriend too and sees him whenever she likes. She wants me to be on call for her and have no life of my own. HELP. I am worrying myself sick.

[jackie1234]

so glad to hear your advice. thanks. I was thinking that way - but you never know do you, if you are doing the right thing or not. I know in my heart of hearts that she cant rule my life and I think i need to stay strong on this one.

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

Hi Jackie,

So sorry for the loss of your mum.
How long have you been with your partner? If you have been with him since before your loss of your mum and it is only recently she has been displaying such antipathy towards him, maybe she is acting out because she is afraid of losing you? If he has come into your life after your loss, again this could explain why she is so hostile to him.
This doesn't mean you should pander to her - you have the right to live your life how you choose and just because you have a partner does not mean you love your sister any less. You just need to keep reassuring her. It might be an idea to start a post in Teenagers as other parents may have had similar issues with their teens?

[jackie1234]

Hi All
I was with my bf since before my mum died, I think its an issue of being scared of losing me, but there is only so much reassurance I can give. thanks everyone.

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

Yes bereavement would be a good place for advice.
Not sure what else to suggest, everyone handles grief differently but as you said there is only so much you could do without tearing yourself in half