Will try to be brief.
DS is 11, me & DH married 3.5yrs, 2 dc under 3 yrs.
DS has regular weekly contact with his dad, my ex-husband. I have no contact with ex other than exchange details re: DS & then usually by tel or txt. Took many yrs to get to this level of amicability & many family court appearances. On the whole though he has been good dad to DS.
DH's behaviour towards DS (his SS) has me concerned. He hates my ex. Has what I feel are unreasonable demands regarding the contact I have with the ex, the most recent being that DS is not to be allowed to come home after school on the days that the ex picks him up (he collects his ipod rather than take it in school) as it's breeding familiarity with the ex who MAY be inclined to come to the door at some point rather than sit out in the car. The last time he actually came to the door was over 4 yrs ago and following a discussion about DH being uncomfortable with it he hasn't done so since.
DH obviously has some sensitivities over ex, have discussed these over the years (he feels he was 2nd choice, thinks I defend him etc) & I agree that ex will never need have any communication with our DC but this now means that they cannot even be in the car when I go to collect DS "just in case ex comes out & they see him" (in fairness ex does not have the nicest personality)
Tonight we have had huge row over this as I feel DS should be allowed to collect his stuff & he says he shouldn't. Personally I feel that he uses issues with ex to cover his issues (poss. jealousy) of DS. He is frequently negative about DS. DS does have a genuine affection for DH but is also very guarded & worries constantly about upsetting him.
Am I being blinkered in this or is something amiss somewhere. Just to add I have no feelings regarding ex. Contact is minimal & this suits us both, we will never be friends but need to have some communications for DS's sake.
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Step-parenting
Confused & need some help please...
7 replies
MeelooMouloo · 05/04/2011 21:50
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