adoption

[tahlulla1986]

I am considering applying to adopt my 2 dss's and was just wondering if anybody else has done this.

[NanaNina]

Am assuming you are talking about step-parent adoption tahlulla. It is a strange situation for the natural parent (presumably the father) because a step parent adoption will also focus upon him and he will be assessed. Many natural parents (quite rightly in my view) feel that this is inappropriate.

Do you know whether the natural mother would consent to this adoption.

You need to contact Social Services and advise them of your intentions and take it from there. They will explain the process to you and they will carry out assessments. The children's wishes and feelings will be taken into account if they are of an age to understand. The social worker has to make a recommendation to the court on the suitability (or otherwise) of an adoption order being made, and the Judge will usually go along with the social worker's recommendation provided that the report covers all aspects of this arrangement.

[WinterLover]

I'm really pleased to see this :) I am aware of you background. I have no experience of this but I do admire you for what you are doing with the boys :) I'm sure their late mother would be pleased they have someone to care for them.

[fairystepmother]

We considered it when my SS9's bio-mum died, and my DH was very keen on the idea but in the end I decided against. Instead we decided to apply to the court for parental responsibility as that gives me all the legal authorities I need to care for SS9 (decisions around education, medical care etc). I also felt it was essential that SS asked to be adopted rather than us ask him - I want him to choose me as a mum iykwim?

Not to say we wouldn't do it in future, but at the moment I just don't see the need in our situation.

When I looked into it there was very little information on step-adoption out there. You need to look quite hard to find information that's relevant as most of it seems to apply to kids with no families.

If you do find any good websites I would love it if you could share the link?

[tahlulla1986]

I have notified social services of 'intent to adopt'. Waiting for them to come and assess us now. Not looking forward to filling in three application forms for each child!

Fairystepmother- I found some really good websites, I'll post the links soon.

My only worry about adopting the kids is that it means their birth mothers family will have no legal rights. My DP spoke the the grandparents and they said they thought about it before as an option and thought it would be good for they boys. My DP and I sat down and spoke to kids about what it would mean. They were really excited. So it's all going well.

[WinterLover]

From what you've said before their maternal family seem to have welcomed you into the boys lives with open arms :)

[tahlulla1986]

Thank you winterlover