Hi all, please bear with me as this is my first post and might be a little long (i'm a waffler!)
I want to know how i stop myself from getting upset/annoyed/concerned about matters regarding my sd, matters that don't even seem to phase her Dad, who is my fiancé. Do any of you have any advice on this?
My Sd is 4, i've admittedly found it difficult to bond with her, it sounds really stupid, but, she's just so different to my children (I have a dd with my exh and a ds with my f) but, i do try my best.
Sd is brought up in an environment where she appears to be the boss, 'sharing' to her means she gets what she wants straight away, she eats what she wants, when she wants and pretty much turns her nose up when i serve up what i'd call 'proper' dinners and tells us that she's going to have toast/crisps/biscuits after dinner anyway (not that we let her) admittedly f backs me up completely on this as, without being unkind, she doesn't need the extra junk. I guess it's her attitude that gets to me, it can be hard to put into perspective that alot of things can be a sign of her age. Sd also makes a point of telling my f that she loves him when our ds is in trouble, to me it seems manipulating, but, i could be reading too much into it.
The issues that really bother me are that her Mum has changed Sd's surname without any legal consent from my f, sd refers to my f as 'daddy (insert name)' and her stepdad as 'daddy', my f has always been in her life. He says the surname doesn't really matter at the end of the day as he knows she's his daughter, despite the fact he and exp had a conversation about sd's surname a good few years ago and he told her he wasn't comfortable with it being changed.
There are other issues that bother me, sd wears makeup, she's had her hair straightened since she had hair and a few months ago she came round with highlights! sd and i have had a conversation about hair straightening after she wanted me to do it for her, but, i told her she was too young and it would ruin her hair and now she makes a point of saying "i've got my hair straightened" as the first thing she says to me when she sees me.
My F isn't someone who likes confrontation, so none of these issues are ever talked about with his exp, his exp from all accounts has a bit of a 'princess complex' herself and is used to always getting her own way.
I know some of these things sound trivial compared to what alot of you have to go through and for that i apologise, i am just at a bit of a loss to know how to distance myself, i don't even know if i have any right to feel annoyed or upset about any of these things.
Thanks for your time x
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Confused about issues regarding SD
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HypeAversion · 18/03/2011 14:43
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