Hi all! Well, I finally had my little girl 27th January, in one of the most traumatic childbirth situations imaginable. I was in hospital after C section/ infections etc for 8 days and it has taken me the best part of the 6 weeks since to feel better...
So it has taken a while for the dust to settle on the blended family situation, but we are 'back to normal' again wrt weekends etc. The thing is, I feel differently towards DSS now I have my LO - much less relaxed about his behaviour. He is 10 but acts much younger, still holding his dad's hand when we go out, wants stories read before bed (whilst at the same time having the rights of a much older child wrt bedtime/ mealtimes etc). I want him to have a bedtime, as he always looks so tired when he comes to us, as well as to be reminded to pick up after himself a bit. He also has a really irritating habit of not being hungry when we are preparing food, but then being hungry later and asking what the options for food are and pulling faces until his dad races out to the shop to get whatever it is that he wants. Last weekend we had guests and were about to go out for lunch, he was (as always) playing on computer and he looked up and said "I'm not hungry. WE'll go for lunch later" and carried on playing. His dad started the usual pandering ("you might be hungry when we get there"etc) but I said very assertively "You have a choice. You can either watch us eat, or eat. But you need to get your shoes on as wwe are going out for lunch". Which he did... But I feel like I am the one who has to do assertive/ reminders (put your shoes on/ take your cup into kitchen/ get dressed etc) while daddy does disney iykwim. Again with the bedtime - I said 9.30 to go up to bed, 10.15 lights out. So he plays laptop til 10.15 then daddy reads to him til 11. A row ensued between DP and I - what is the point in a bedtime if you then undermine me by reading to him til 11? Which I consider far too late for a 10 year oild during term time...
The problem is that he is going to secondary school this Sept and will be moving to nearby and I feel that at the mo he sees our house as a bit of a holiday but if he will be spending more time with us, and the baby is growing up - he needs to have some structure and rigour to his time here. AIBU???
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travispickles · 16/03/2011 08:57
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