what do I do????

[babybumpx]

Ok im having a little rant as im slightly annoyed with DP my DSS woke up this morning, my DP went to get some weetabix for my DSS who is 2 and a half and there wasnt any, I had forgotten to get them yesterday (I am Pregnant) my DSS screamed the house down because thats what he has every morning, that or porridge, the alternatives were blueberry Jam on toast and honey cluster special K, he loves jam on toast but my partner pandered to his screaming and was going to buy some weetabix from the shop!!!

I have a DS already who is 6 and if he done that I would not of given in, I give him his options and if that wasnt good enough I would have left it on the table so when he has calmed down he will eat it.

I feel like such a MATRON! with my DSS as his granda and Auntie always pander to him, they allow him to demand what he wants and give it to him, they allow him to go through their handbags to find mints, I personally think it not appropriate as I would not allow my son to do it.

As it happens my DSS has eaten All his jam on toast and is now a happy boy, so was I right or wrong??

We need to get this right as with my first DS of course its your first child and you just want to make them happy which i did and it resulted in him being a little demanding which has now nearly stopped as ive changed the way we do things

Phew thats me finished....bringing up children is the hardest and most important thing you will ever do ( I feel ) I just want to get it right.

Please give advice xx

[Drizzela]

Hey, you have y sympathies. You don't need to hide behind the penultimate sentance in your post by the way, if that's what you are doing, we're very understanding over here and simply expecting a certain level of respect and discipline in your house - and being pissed off if this isn't upheld - is enough.

It's infuriating, you were completely right in how you felt.

Does your DP support you when you point out why this behaviour from DSS is unacceptable? What does Dss's mother treat him like? The hardest thing about raising steps is the fact that no matter how much is demanded of you, you are at the very bottom of the food chain when it comes to respect or right to assert authority, even in your own home

My dp is extremely respctful of me and says I am the 'lady of the house' and as such I should always feel that I can stamp my authority on anything I wish, doesnt change the 'you're not my mother!' look on Dsd's face whenever I open my mouth though! I got her whn she was 9 and so the battle was already lost in many ways, the fact that your DSs is so young means if you assert your beleifs now, you might still have time to win

[allnewtaketwo]

I have a 2.5 year old and actually agree with you - if DS screamed because he wasn't getting his choice of cereal, there is no way I would pander to it. And actually the fact that the insists on having the same cereal every day is a bit . I deliberately give DS a variation so he doesn't get to be so fussy/set in his ways (like DSS's!)

[babybumpx]

Drizzela - what does hide behind the penultimate sentance mean?

My partner is very respectful of what I say, so I am lucky as he does have trust in what I say and does back me up, I guess through his lack of experience made him question it which then made me feel bad and question it too. however I do know that I did do the right thing and will continue too, My DSS mother has very minimal contact, she has seen him once in the last 8 months!! That is another issue :-( Thank you for your advice.

allnewtaketwo - Yes you are right, I do wonder sometimes as DSS is a very particular 2.5 year old and I have my speculations regarding a light bit of Autism but I feel nothing too serious to worry about yet....also it could just be the fact that his Grandmother and Auntie do pander to him alot so he is bound to throw a hissy fit when he's not getting what he wants, I just wont pander to it, when we are together his behaviour is amazing, i dont get any tantrums and he is very co-operative its just as soon as his grandmother, father and auntie are around. Thank you for your advice :)

xx