Could I ask some advice before I get something wrong, please?
I'm not yet in a relationship with this person but I'm thinking about it, and I think he is too.
He has children as do I. I'm the main parent in my children's lives so it's not quite the same as his situation, where parenting is shared equally and amicably.
I don't really know their mum but we have mutual friends through school; she seems lovely. We have exchanged a few very brief words, in a nice way, but I don't know what's appropriate.
Obviously at the moment nothing's happened so it's not quite an issue yet, but I'm not sure how much I should be getting to know her, or whether I ought to keep it all very separate?
For instance her children and their dad were with us socially yesterday, so today at school her dd approached me and said 'Boo!' so I said hello, and thankyou for the lovely drawing (from yesterday). The mum was nearby talking to someone else, but when she looked over and saw us, I smiled and said what a great picture her dd had drawn yesterday, (assuming she knew they had been here) and she said yes, and we had a very quick exchange about that. It was Ok I think. But I came away worrying about it, as in should I have said that, will she feel threatened that I get on with her dd, will she think I am trying to sound important or something...I was just trying to break down any embarrassment really and let her know I was friendly (as opposed to not speaking to her while 'chasing' her ex, or something?)
I also really don't want to worry her or try to become their mum, or anything. I hope that makes sense.
I just don't know how best to handle it given that her relationship with the children's dad is more important than mine, certainly at the moment and possibly if or when we started seeing each other, too, purely because they share children.
How would you go about it without getting it all wrong? I'm sure she knows they were here, because she called during the visit and he wandered off to speak to her.
It feels a bit weird having a 3 way dynamic so I hope someone has experience of this and can advise
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice.
Step-parenting
Boundaries between birth mother and step mother/girlfriend
5 replies
MykleeneAss · 28/02/2011 18:27
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.