My son goes to a special college now which is brilliant.. they teach them how to shop and use public transport etc. Eventually they aim to get him into supported work and if this happens it will be more than I ever dreamed of.

This year I learned about Direct payments from Social Services. What a Godsend they have been!! Does everyone know about them as I did not.

I have heard very good things about the Priory too. Hope the respite goes well Mrs T.
We have a couple of post 16 training ( horticulture/ farming/ baking) communities very close but after that or if ds looses his interesty in plants I do not know!

DS1 is 10 and has just started overnight respite once a week. In part because eventually I know he'll have to go into resi care. We do have a fantastic residential provision (run by the Priory - who pay their staff a decent wage and train them) nearby and I stopped panicking so much once I met the guy who ran the place.

I think at his school it starts being discussed when the child reaches 14. I'm going to go and look at everything then start the battle with SS. He has very high support needs, so a lot of provision just isn't suitable - which has its advantages in funding battles.

SS have a legal obligation to come visit you at home within 7 days! It is shocking they never even got back to you, yuou should complain but I doubt you have time

Yep - although in my case it may also be middle age! Ds coped well when I was obviously ill -but he doesnt understand my limitations now I look Ok again! He gets frustrated at the poor quality entertainment! I need to wear him out so he will sleep- so I can get to rest! Time to get a trampoline/ wefit perhaps! Wonder if I could sell that to DH? Neighbour kindly lets ds help with his evening dog walk sometimes which is a godsend and dh takes him to athletics at the weekend. SS never got back to me.

oh magso, I was secretly hoping you would say @I am 100% better now'. Doesnt it take SO much longer to recouperate though? My last c0-section took over a year tbh and I am sure that was due to the level of care I had deal with with dd

Hi Fio - still rather up and down but much much better than I was thanks! However I do worry about the future for ds - more so now. He is such a chearful active boy but gets bored so easily. He is not one for quietly watching tv or playing alone ( I wish sometimes)- so an elderly peoples care home would be awful for him! (and probably all around him!)

magso, how are you? are you getting any better?

Ds future is a worry for us too and he is not 10 yet. I have not been as energetic with the entertainment recently (ill) and it has really brought home how much ds needs to be happy and at his most able ( and that I am wearing out!).
A 'rocking house' in a community (add in sporting cooking and gardening facilities) sounds spot on! Perhaps near montains and rivers for walking/canoeing/climbing fun.
I suppose we all have this unusual hobby of looking for suitable places for our dc to be happy. Whilst others get excited by the discovery of a nice restaurant on their travels - we get excited by discovering a lovely supported community!

Fio, I feel sick too at the thought of it all.

Springlamb, the rocking bungalow sounds exactly what we'll need!

Wet August, the trouble I find with DP's is that you still get precious little respite from sleep deprivation and challenging behaviour and DS monopolising the living room with endless repeat TV programmes that we all know off by heart and violence towards his sibs. I also find that as we struggle to find something to entertain him with, the DP workers also run out of inspiration and there's only so many McDonald's happy meals you can eat! The workers we have employed have been very good on the whole, but DS ends up getting challenging with them too. He is much better suited to a stimulating, sociable, highly supportive and adapted environment, not one-to-one. We need him to be out of the house in order to get true R&R.

I have recently been asked to contribute to discussions re. adult services. Initially, I thought that it is too early, (and I couldn't be fagged) but now I think I will have to just to try to ensure something more suitable is in place for the journey ahead.